What He Really Needed - IwaOi

Prologue: "His Last Game"

Note: Some of these things may be inaccurate, I didn't do much research and don't care to.

The Argentina volleyball team was in the middle of its fifth, and final set playing against Brazil. Both teams had won two sets so far, and it was a nasty game. Both being extremely talented and pushing harder and harder as time went on; everybody was on edge, especially Argentina's setter: Oikawa Tooru. Since their last set, Oikawa had been feeling pain in his bad knee, and it was only getting worse as he played. Scratch since their last set; Oikawa's knee had been hurting consistently everyday for two months now, but this game meant too much to skip any practice or skip this game, so he pulled through it. At this point, it was throbbing and Oikawa was barely pulling through. Don't give out, don't give out. Oikawa slightly muttered to himself as he ran, jumped and performed one of his famous serves. Don't give out. Don't give out. He landed. Though he stumbled a bit, his knee didn't give out. He silently celebrated in his head and continued playing. They were 23/24; Brazil taking the lead by one point. Oikawa knew that he and his team needed to win this game; this was their last chance to play for a while if they lost, and Oikawa could not deal with that. Volleyball was more than just his hobby, his job; it was like an addiction. It was his forever. So, he pushed harder; jumping higher, running faster and focusing harder. In fact, he was so focused he didn't notice the pain in his knee anymore as it slowly got worse. Again, jumping up to do one of his serves, he didn't even jump a couple inches. 'Oh shit' was all he could think. His knee completely gave out, dragging him to the floor.

He paused; face going white as a ghost as pain set in. Excruciating pain. He winced, which turned into curling his knees up to his chest and holding on to the faulty one. Tears were building up in his eyes as the pain started to get more and more agonizing. At this point his ears were ringing and his peripheral started to blur as he could barely make out the figures of his teammates crowding around him. He heard small 'are you okay?'s and 'Oikawa!'s through his ringing ears. His team knew about his bad knee, but it's never given out with them. It's not like Oikawa had been very careful with it, but his knee brace usually did all the work for him. He never had to make sure he wasn't straining it after he got the brace; but here we are, knee brace on, still in pain from his bad knee. Though, Oikawa noticed something. This is the worst pain he's ever had when his knee gave out. Sure, it was terribly excruciating every time, but his ears have never rang before, and his vision has never gone all blurry like this and... wait.

I can't feel the pain anymore.

That was the last thought Oikawa had before he blacked out. When he woke up, lying in a bed, surrounded by white, eerily clean walls and metal furniture. He was in a hospital. He had his coach sitting beside him. Oikawa looked up at his coach, who was sitting there with a frown. Oikawa sat up with a confused expression on his face. His coach didn't say anything, just stared into Oikawa's eyes. Then, he remembered. My knee gave out during the game with Brazil. "I-," Oikawa started, but didn't get to finish before his coach interrupted; "we lost the game with Brazil. We won't be able to play again until September." Oikawa staggered. September? But... it's April. There's no way I could wait that long... "I... apologize," Oikawa stammered out. "Yeah. Why the hell didn't you tell me your knee was giving you trouble? It was a close game, we could've just pulled you out to rest for a bit, Oikawa. You're one of our most valuable players, we cannot just lose you in the middle of a game, unexpectedly," coach said. Argentina's coach had this way with words. He was always calm, yet assertive. Even when he was sad, angry, frustrated, anything he never showed. But, yet, Oikawa could still hear a tinge of something in his coach's words when he said them. Some sort of emotion. A mix of anger, sadness, frustration, grief; that's what Oikawa thought. "I am sorry, sir. I didn't realize it was this bad until it... gave out," Oikawa replied. He knew that was a lie. He even said it like it was a lie. If you paid very close attention, you could sense the small question mark at the end of it. "Yeah, yeah," his coach replied, all emotion gone again, "they're doing tests to see how long it'll take to recover, but just by looking at it I'd say it'll probably be a while." Oikawa looked down to the direction of his knee, which was covered by a white, clean blanket. He pulled the blanket down, uncovering his knee, and coach was right. His knee was a deep indigo, the bruise stretching to his lower thigh all the way down to his upper calf, wrapping around his leg. He tried to shift it a little, but was immediately filled with agony, flinching at the pain. He pulled the covers back up and looked at his coach, "this is the worst I've ever seen it." His coach eyed him, but gave him no response.

Oikawa had been awake at the hospital for a couple of hours now, the nurses and doctors doing numerous tests on Oikawa's knee, Oikawa frowning at the pitying look they gave the results whenever they came back. Though Oikawa had been given hints by the expressions the staff around him were giving anything to do with his knee, Oikawa had not yet been told anything about its condition. Finally, after about three hours of waiting, doing tests and worrying too much, a doctor walked in. "Hi, Oikawa Tooru?" She said, giving him a weak smile, "I have your results." Oh no. Why is she looking at me like that? Why is she so somber? Will it have to be upwards of two months that I wait? Three? Four? Five?... Forever? Oikawa slightly winced at his own thought. Forever. That was Oikawa's worst nightmare. He couldn't stand the thought of never being able to play again. He didn't know what he would do without volleyball. He had nothing. Volleyball was his forever. Sure, he had a few friends he had met in Argentina, but he left Japan for a reason and that reason was volleyball. He had even questioned his decision of moving multiple times, leaving his friends was really hard. Makki, Matsun; god dammit, the entire Aoba Johsai team, but most importantly... Iwaizumi.

His childhood best friend. Iwaizumi had always looked out for Oikawa, scolding him when he pushed himself too hard, but now that Oikawa and Iwaizumi are separated by countries, he can't do that anymore like he used to. He had gotten too used to Iwaizumi looking out for him that now, when Iwaizumi can no longer do what he has done for the past decade, Oikawa is lost. Nobody else really notices it, but Oikawa does. He knows Iwaizumi was a great part of his life, and though Oikawa loves playing for Argentina, he still often feels regrets. He could've just found a team in Japan, afterall. Then, he would be closer to Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi and Oikawa were still in constant contact, texting, video-calling, you name it. Iwaizumi digitally watched every game Oikawa played, and this one was no different. Since Oikawa had woken up, Oikawa's phone was on blast, with spam messages from Iwaizumi, but... Oikawa didn't have the confidence to face Iwaizumi- even if through text -after what had happened. Fuck.

"Hello? Oikawa are you okay?" The doctor in front of him called, looking concerned. "Uh- I- yeah, sorry I just zoned out," Oikawa mumbled. The doctor took a deep breath, "I have some.. bad news." Oikawa looked down, waiting for her to continue. "Unfortunately, honey-" Honey. Why is she calling me honey? I don't need to be pitied, me not playing won't last forever. He tried to think, but all the what-ifs were popping up. The worst part of all was that those what-ifs weren't completely off. Infact, they were perfectly on-point.

"You will no longer be able to play volleyball, or any other sport."

"For how long?"

"Forever."

Oikawa tensed. Body frozen still. His whole body shuddered as his heart, stomach, brain, organs, everything dropped. It's like that huge drop when you're riding a rollercoaster, except, the rush of fun never came.

Forever?

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Volleyball IS my forever. This cannot be happening to me. Why me? Why? Just why? Why is my entire joy in life now... gone? What should I do? What? Why? No. This isn't right. No. No. No. No. No. I was supposed to play volleyball forever. Not not play volleyball. Volleyball is my forever. No one can change that. Nothing can. Except for my knee. My fucking bad knee. Why? Why now? Can't I play a little longer?

Forever.

That single word rang in his ear as a single tear came streaming down his face. Then, another. Then another. Another. More and more tears just started crawling down Oikawa's face, which quickly turned into a sob. The doctor sat down next to him, quietly patting him on the back, speaking reassuring words to him. He sat there, sobbing violently for hours; until finally, the tears rocked him asleep. The last thought on his mind being:

Forever.