The Psychology of Love

Chapter 27 Light

The sudden flash of memory shows YU himself.

Him screaming. His books being thrown around his room. How he clings to the Sam Lin table top and pleads. How he pleads. For forgiveness. For mercy. How he lies soundlessly on the piles of books.

YU's consciousness can't take the film. The door closes. YU displaces and perceives Sam's presence again.

Without remembering why he feels this way now, he feels himself floating at the sight of Sam. A warm current finds its way into his body. Pours over his freezing organs. Awakens. Heals.

YU feels his face lift and his mouth form a warm smile.

Meanwhile, Sam sees a haze of confusion in YU's eyes. His smile is bright and genuine. But his eyes. His eyes seem tortured.

And Sam realizes how torn YU's consciousness is. His self is not yet able to face. To remember.

But Sam knows YU is aware of him. He sees him. He stands by his side.

YU's voice interrupts Sam's thoughts:
"What happened, Sam?" asks YU, confused.

And Sam's mind is working at full speed. What can he possibly answer him? He can't anticipate him. He decides to strengthen the present.

"The early darkness made you sad. That's why we're going on a tour. I want to show you the beautiful sides of the night and its bright lights," Sam replies calmly, taking YU's cold hand resting on his lap.

As Sam crosses Kurt-Schumacher-Platz at the end of Müllerstraße, YU catches sight of his hand in Sam's and loses himself in thought again.

They drive onto Scharnweberstraße in Berlin Reinickendorf. Near the Tegels airport. On the way to the Tegler lake.
The lights are dimming. The streetlights in the distance show them the way into the darkness to the in the night black woods of the 450-hectare Tegler lake.

YU feels Sam's warm hand and recalls moments. Sam's hand presented to him at the initial meeting, at the 1st session. The feeling of disappointment when it was hidden from him at the 2nd session.

Seeing Sam's warm hand on his and feeling his increased heartbeat.

Sam's head on his lap. How he touched his face with that cold hand. How Sam's hands tickled him. How he felt Sam's body on his body.

How the hot lust poured over him and he became erect.

YU's heart stops. He releases his cold hand from Sam's glowing him up.

And as he crosses his legs and looks out the window again, his cheeks glow.

And the other remembered images set him on fire inside.

Images of touch. Images of tasting. Images of smelling.

And the feeling of Sam's arousal in his hand. Surrounded by thin fabric, he feels himself grasping

Sam's arousal. Tasting his throat.

His audible breath catches Sam's attention.

"YU, are you okay?", Sam's deep sound penetrates YU.

Sound waves reaching YU's skin. They leave an avalanche of tingling in his body.

He turns to face Sam.

And Sam's breath catches at the sight of YU's face.

His cheeks burn brightly. A piece of his lower lip hides between his teeth. His eyes see only their own movie. A movie Sam would love to see with YU.