Petal [h.s.]

Chapter 72

"You could say that." I responded with a small smile.

"Well, I applaud you for even considering coming here today per Harry's request after everything that happened. I assume it can't be easy for you."

I sighed at his question. "I want him to be okay. I care about him a lot and I can't help but feel like it's partly my fault that he relapsed so badly. I shouldn't run away from this anymore."

"Ah, Harry warned me you'd do this." Doctor Hall chuckled and I raised my brows. "Excuse me?"

"Take the blame."

"Oh." I mumbled, not really realizing I had taken any blame. Nicolas took a sip of his coffee. "He said it's what you do, take responsibility for things that aren't your fault. You carry the burden."

"I guess I never thought about it that way." I answered, eyes focussed on the coffee mug in my hands.

"So what would you say you are to blame for then?"

I had to admit Nicolas was good at his job, luring me into a full on therapy session without my knowledge.

I shrugged for a moment. "I knew Harry was in a bad place when we first got together. I don't know if he told you this, but I work with addicts myself. Not to the same extent obviously, and I'm not a therapist, but I do know how it works. I knew Harry was not in a fit state to start a relationship, he was too fragile and freshly clean to get involved in something so serious. And I let him even though I should've known better. It was selfish."

"So you think part of the reason Harry relapsed was because he was so dependent on you?"

I nodded. "He was very dependent on me. And I didn't always mind, it felt... nice to be wanted and needed. But it only made things worse for him when I wasn't around. And then I ended not being around quite some time. I mean, I was there physically but..." My voice died when I remembered the weeks of me being a complete zombie, not leaving my bed and not talking to anyone. "And Harry tried, he really did. And so did I. But we did it differently. We just ended up hurting each other." I mumbled.

Nicolas slowly nodded, taking another sip of his mug. "I understand you feel that way, but I also think you know by now you can't get in the way of feelings. They always win. Heart always wins from the brain, no matter how stupid the decision."

"What do you mean?" I frowned in confusion, not able to decipher his riddle. Nicolas smiled slightly and leaned forward on his desk. "It means you can't run away from love, not even if you really, really want to. I know you thought it was the smart thing to stay away, but you couldn't. And neither could he. You always follow your heart in the end."

"Which piece?" I chuckled dryly and Nicolas' right side of his mouth tugged up into a small smile. "You broke each other's hearts." He concluded.

I nodded. "That's what I said."

"But he also couldn't help but follow his though."

"I'm not sure if that's true." I sighed.

"You don't think he loves you?"

I flicked my eyes up to meet Nicolas' gaze and slowly shook my head. "I don't think he's in love with me."

It was quiet for a bit as we sat in silence, drinking our coffee.

"Why do you think you're here, Violet?"

I shifted in my seat slightly. "Closure. I guess Harry needs to fix things with the people he messed up with, it's part of the process, that much I know about rehab."

Nicolas had a slight frown on his face. "You think Harry asked you here to close things up with you?"

"Well... yes. We broke up."