Came Because of Our Song ✔️

Reminiscent Past, Suppressant Fast

The scene was almost nostalgic if not mocking....

Lan Wangji's screams were almost quiet, an echo of the pain amplified in the silence of Jingshi. The white knuckles, the sweat lining his brows, his feverish body and a vain try to writh against the hands treating him, the silent sobs when the touch seemed too much, the tears wetting his eyelashes but never escaping—held at bay by the last claw at self control, the tears in the pillow and scratch marks on the wood, never noticed before.
It was this silent pain that finally made Wei Wuxian snap.

The next day, terrifying and bloodcurling screams could be heard from one corner of the Cloud Recesses. The horror continued for almost half a day, subdued by the time someone dared to come and check.

No one heard the exact words which were exchanged but—
everyone whispered a warning,
a call barring ,
The voices jarring,
the words marring;
hushed like they feared,
soft like a deer—
all doubts  smeared
The silence, clear.

Come night, no one questions a vibrating and mumbling Wei Wuxian when he trudges through the path of Jingshi, with a jar of Emperor's Smile in one hand and Chenqing in another.

****************
It will take probably months from what the healers have predicted with the current pace at which Lan Wangji was healing to restore his previous strength.
Though whether he will be back to his optimum level was an unanswered question.
His joints had suffered and the right arm where there had already been a battle scar was in a critical condition.
Thankfully, no bones have been dislocated.

But Lan Wangji heals, albietly far more slowly.
And that's what important, Wei Wuxian tells himself. Not his frantic heart which won't stop thundering everytime he sees Lan Wangji lying on his stomach with his back a criss-cross  of scars, angry red or shades of blue glaring at everyone in the room.
Not his whirlwind mind which won't stop conjuring up the worst images possible.

Belatedly, Sizhui reminds him that Lan Wangji also felt the same when Wei Wuxian was out in the world, without a core and defenceless against almost any kind of hurt.

Wei Ying realises he doesn't know.

Sizhui also told him something else. He was probably exhausted with all the bottled up emotions from the past month, kept hidden and suppressed to not worry anyone and finally cracked.
Just like his Rich gege....

So, Wei Ying coaxed him to spill the beans after watching his ball of sunshine mope around and being tense for this long.
A silent room, a bit of cajoling and a little bit of hugs was all it took to make the young Lan break into sobs.
That night, Sizhui was not a Lan, not Lan Sizhui, not the cultivator whom almost every little Lan kid looked up to, whom teachers and other sect disciples praised when he performed better than anyone else, whom Hanguang-Jun always silently praised in class— he was just...A Yuan.

With a red face full of tears and sobs and hiccups breaking through his body, all Lan rules out of the window; he confided in his Xian gege how he was afraid, how he feared, how lost he felt, how much he had to pretend to keep it together because the scene had triggered yet another memory of his.

The memory in which Wei Ying was gone.

" You were not there Xian Gege. Hanguang-Jun was like this, probably worse after the war during his seclusion. "
That night, Wei Ying learned how A Yuan was only allowed to visit Lan Zhan weekly or sometimes not at all.
It was only when he sneaked off enough times that Zewu-Jun finally started taking him to Jingshi with him daily so that he could meet his Zhan ge without any hindrance.

At Wei Wuxian's questioning eyes, Sizhui chuckled wetly " Zewu-Jun once thanked me saying I saved Hanguang-Jun's life. I didn't know how, and just called him that and said somethings.
I probably gave him that name after I learned his birth name somehow. He seemed to like it,so I usually called him like that till....."
He paused for a second, recalling something and then continued
" Till I stayed with him. As soon as I started my education, a teacher forbid me from calling him that. He said that I wasn't allowed to call him by his name or any other version of it because it was improper. But Zhan gege loved that name I think. He would sometimes close his eyes or smile his ' rare smile ' as some call it but he never told me to stop calling him that.
I told my teacher about it and he punished me for talking back. He said....he said that Hanguang-Jun was not in his right mind, that just because he allowed me something doesn't mean it's allowed. But I was confused. I sneaked back to Jingshi that night and found Hanguang-Jun standing on the porch...."

Those days were something Sizhui both treasured and hated the most.

" He was standing with his back to me but as soon as I took a step he turned like he sensed me. I told him about what the teacher had told me and he just hugged me and put me to sleep next to him.
The next day, he met with the teacher and that was probably the most angry I have seen Hanguang-Jun.
He argued with the teacher, and almost the whole Cloud Recesses was there. At last, Zewu-Jun had to come and settle the matter before they got violent. "

That teacher was probably asking for it...
But Wei Ying was not going to let some excuse of a teacher take his precious time with his self-adopted kid tonight.
They talked some more, Wei Wuxian desperate to know what he had missed and Sizhui happy to share his thoughts and tales with someone who had been a parent figure for him once.

Once all the tears had been wiped and face cleared, they sat together then slept there only. Sizhui too exhausted to walk as it was too late than his normal bedtime and Wei Ying buzzing with the need to keep his little radish near him.

The duties can wait, the people can be sate but warmth is something nobody can ever make.

♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤
I am emotional now, so will be stopping here.
I don't want to cry and have to explain the tears,
I don't want to try and erase the fears,
For they make my strength spear and start my mind's gears.

Kindly don't copy, paste, repost, use the poetry in this chapter in any way without written permission of the creator. The piece belongs to the poet and is a copyrighted material.

3-6th August, 2021
Published : 6th August, 2021