Love You In My Mind // Sirius Black

Chapter 3

I only snapped out of my thoughts when I heard the voices.

"No! Just forget it already!"
"She disowned you, Sirius!"
"I don't care!"
"But-"
"No!"

I turned around the next corner and was greeted by a strange sight.
The Black brothers, Regulus and Sirius, were obviously in an argument.
It was a known fact that Regulus and Sirius weren't the closest of siblings, considering that Regulus was his parents' treasure, whereas Sirius had 'dishonored the noble house of Black' by getting sorted into Gryffindor all those years ago. I think the whole school could remember that howler.

The brothers still exchanged a few words, and I suppose I had just walked into one of those conversations.

Unlucky me, that seemed to be one of the less friendlier ones.

Just when I wanted to turn around, pretending I'd never seen or heard them (or even been there), Sirius turned away from his brother, his eyes falling on me.
"Freya, there you are! I thought you'd never come!"

I stiffened, trying to keep my face as expressionless as possible. I didn't know what was going on and I didn't want to ruin anything, so I said nothing and just nodded ever-so-slightly.

Regulus followed his brother's eyes, his forehead wrinkling up in confusion. His eyes traveled back and forth between Sirius and me, but the latter ignored him.

Instead, he walked towards me, smiling. With a "Bye Reg", he laid an arm around my shoulder, made me turn around and pushed me away quickly.

I blushed terribly, for no reason, as usual. Just when I opened my mouth to ask what the hell he was doing, he whispered in my ear. "I'll explain later, just go with it."

And finally, when we'd turned another corner, and after Sirius had checked that Regulus hadn't been following us, he dropped his arm.

I could finally breathe normally again. Why did I always feel so uncomfortable around boys, I hated myself for that!! I silently prayed that Sirius didn't notice my blush.

"Sorry for that," Sirius said with only the trace of a smile left on his face. "But I really had to get away from him, and your appearance was the perfect excuse. So thank you, I suppose."

I lifted one eyebrow, still confused. "Erm, you're welcome?"

Sirius didn't reply and just looked around the corridor again.
Awkward, my inner voice whispered and I cringed.

Sirius' gaze returned to me. "So, what were you doing in the corridors anyway? Why were you alone?"

I shrugged, trying to look as calm as possible on the outside. Why did I always feel so awkward in conversations with strangers? Snap out of it!
"Family problems."

Sirius scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Tell me about it."

It was quiet again. I mean, what was I supposed to say!? I knew that he had issues at home, everyone did.

"So, you wanna talk about it?"

I blinked. Had he really just asked that? Should I tell him? It would sound really lame in comparison to his problems...
"If I heard that correctly, then you don't have to hear even more about disfunctional families. I'm sorry."

Sirius shrugged and started to walk again, so I followed him and we strolled through the hallway.
"Don't be. I'm happy with my situation. Proud, actually."

I didn't even try to hide my surprise. "What!? Didn't you get disowned?"

"Exactly," Sirius smiled. "I've dissapointed a terrible family and I am no longer an heir of a family of very dark wizards."

And witches, I added in my mind.

"Something to be proud of, if you ask me," he continued.

"If you put it like that, yes." My mind had trouble comprehending all of this.
Sirius Black had actually gotten disowned and he was proud of it. And why had he argued with his brother?

"Where do you live now?" That was the question I had asked myself the most. I mean, he was staying at Hogwarts right now, but he still had to go somewhere over the summer.

"At James'," he answered. "Life is much better over there. More of a home than that old stinky place had ever been."

Oh wow. He sure hated his family. Nice of James' parents to take Sirius in, though.

Only when silence fell upon us once again, I noticed that we had left the castle and were now walking next to the Black Lake.

"As if I'd apologise," it suddenly burst out of Sirius. "He's so focused on having a perfect little family that he doesn't even realise that I don't want them to take me in again! I don't want to see them ever again! And there is absolutely no need to apologise! Should I apologise for right morals? I think not! Regulus can shove his apology up his-"

"Okay, I get it, don't worry . You're right."

Sirius took a deep, exaggerated breath of fresh air and dropped his arms, which he had used to underline his frustration. When he breathed out, he looked at me. "So, what's your family problem?"

"I don't want to bother you with it."

"You won't, I'm genuinely curious. There's no better thing than ranting about disfuctional families with someone who has a disfuctional family, too."

I sighed and started fiddling with my sleeve. "Well, it's not really a disfuctional family, more a single person bothering the whole family. The man who calls himself my father, but does nothing for us. On the contrary, we have to do everything and he harasses us..."

"We?"

"My mum, my sister and me. But my mum is alone with him at the moment, and I just got a letter reminding me of how much I hate that man. So I wanted to let off some steam."

Sirius didn't reply for a minute. He didn't pull any jokes and didn't make fun of me for having such minor problems, and I was really relieved because of that.
I had been scared of his judgment, but he didn't judge. He just listened.

"Well, I understand," he finally spoke up again. "And I can tell from experience that distraction is the best way to cope. Follow my lead."

My eyebrows furrowed as I deciphered the meaning of his words. Was he planning to spend time with me??
I noticed that I'd fallen behind, so I hurried to catch up and finally realised where Sirius was heading:

The quidditch field.

"We still got one hour until dinner, so let's use it, shall we?" He looked at the watch on his wrist, then at me.

I blinked. "Playing Quidditch?"

"Of course. That's always helped me, and I'm sure it'll help you, too. You're a Beater, right?"

I nodded, caught by surprise because he actually remembered that I was one of Ravenclaw's Beaters. I mean, he was Gryffindor's Beater and had played against me in the past, but I still didn't expect him to remember my position. Or me.

"Okay. We can't use a Bludger, but I'll get a Quaffle and the bats. We can pass the Quaffle around, using the bats, if you like? You'd just have to get your broom." Sirius' hands disappeared in the pockets of his cloak and he looked at me with a questioning expression.

I swallowed, not quite sure what to answer. I could imagine that this would get my mind off things, plus, it would be extra training. I loved playing Quidditch and I wouldn't mind to spend my time like this until dinner was ready.
On the other side, I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of Sirius Black, and I didn't want to keep him from doing things with his friends. I didn't want him to feel obligated to spend time with me, just because he'd used me as an excuse to get away from his brother.

"I don't want to bother you," I finally muttered, my cheeks probably redder than ever before this evening. I looked at the floor, until I heard a quiet chuckle coming from Sirius.

"That's nice of you, but I want to. I always play Quidditch after arguments with my brother, and it'll be much more fun to play as a two. So, are you in?"

I didn't even realise that I'd started to grin like crazy. "I'm in."