Not Who You Thought (BxB Drama-Romance)

You + Me

Now

You wear my shirts and dance in my room. You spin and fall onto my bed, your limbs akimbo. I fall for you and I fall beside you.

Our ankles twist together while we lay on the couch and talk. What do we talk about? Nothing and everything. You tell me what you ate for breakfast. You speak different dimensions into existence. You tell me that we are kismet, explain karma to me, and share how the world spins full circle. Karma gives and karma takes, what have I done for it to give me you?

I speak and you listen, you speak and I'm captivated by the way your mouth moves. I tell you to tell me more and you laugh. You tell me more, knowing it's only because I want to hear your voice and watch your mouth move to sound out every syllable.

You tell me you have a feeling about me, deep in your bones. I want that, I want to be in your bones like marrow, unable to ever get out unless you crack them open and lose yourself along with me.

If I'm in your bones, you're in my lungs. I breathe you in, I breathe you out. You control the rate that my lungs expand with your smile and your touch. My breath quickens and then goes shallow, an ebb and flow.

I am in love for the first time; a fact both terrifying and wonderful. We are bittersweet, love and fear, me and you. A fear when you leave me, a love when you text me as soon as you get home. Our love is sugar, and the world is an acid that your fragile skin can't withstand forever. Bittersweet.

You are a boy of strange contrasts. You wear baggy denim pants or women's shorts, on your feet are dirty skate sneakers and another day platform sandals, your crewnecks are embroidered with flowers, your black shirts are ripped by fabric scissors and worn with pride. You tell me that you are growing your hair out, yet the next day I see you and you've cut it to be perfectly tousled around your head. You laugh for no reason, but also cry about the deforestation in the Amazon and animals used for science. Your cheeks are always either flushed or pale. Your depth is astounding and the easiness in which you see life is a relief.

Things are beautiful, lovely, and I'm lost somewhere out in space. You've shot me out of orbit, sending me into a blissful high I've never experienced. I don't come down. I'm gone, gone, gone.

I say your name too much.

Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.

You say my name too. You whisper it into my neck. You say it with a laugh. You say it when you tell me to watch as you flip your skateboard beneath your feet and land the jump with skill. You say it in a hush when it's late at night and we're going for a drive through the countryside illuminated by moonlight. You say it like a revelation when my fingers graze your chin. You say it when you're urging me to sing along with you to a song on the radio, your head tipped out the open window as I drive.

Lucas, Lucas, Lucas, Lucas.

I push away those thoughts of things I have forgotten. They threaten to come to the surface when you are in my arms, in my bed, whispering your love. I see you and I know I have known you once before, and I have forgotten. I am afraid of the things I once knew, but no longer remember. My brain clouds over with confusion, a confusion that only dissipates with your laughter.

Did I ever love anyone before you? I forget where I end and you begin. All I know is that we connect somewhere in the middle, our two hands intertwined.

                                   ⟽ ⟐ ⟾

Author's note: from here on out all details are super important! I drop a lot of important hints about Lucas and Charlie throughout every chapter. I recommend reading slowly through the paragraphs in upcoming chapters to not miss any details!

Q+A

Q: Why is Lucas so dense sometimes?

A: He's pretty smart but he has trouble accepting when things are problematic or when life is frightening. He has a lot of denial in his life as a way to protect himself from being hurt. He has attachment issues because he was raised mostly by his older sister and his mother has always worked and been absent for most of his life. He was always that kid who get picked up late from daycare or his friend's houses. Since he's grown up without completely involved parent figures, he doesn't always understand what is normal interactions between parents and their children.
Also he is still a kid (almost eighteen) and a lot of situations are firsts for him.

Q: why are Lucas's friends awful?

A: I try to give even my worst character SOME redeeming qualities. My whole book is based off of what I experienced growing up and the people I've met. Of course all characters and situations are fictional, but everything is based loosely off of real life situations. So, to answer the question, his friends all have small town syndrome. They just act like all the boys they know! They have a small world which gives them a narrow view on life.

Any other questions I can answer?