Every Rose has it's Thorn.

Chapter 3 - It's Over...

"Bullshit. We both never had it as good as we do with each ot..."

"Don't. Jonah it's over - please just come pick up your stuff," I sighed and ended the connection. There really was no point in continuing to talk to him - he was adamant that we were fine, that we were meant to be together but that simply wasn't how I felt, and I had to be true to who I was and what I wanted.

I knew that there had to be some level of heat between two people but what Jonah and I had was a fucking inferno that wasn't healthy for anyone and if we carried on the way we were it was going to devour everything and everyone in its path. I couldn't allow that to happen. I wouldn't allow it to happen.

Now was the time to work on myself and get back to who I was before all this crap with Jonah got out of hand. The relief I felt at it actually being over was not lost on me, I should have done this long ago. I should have had the guts to end it when it became more and more clear that arguing was becoming a staple in our relationship. Angry with myself for letting things get this bad, I trudged my way up the stairs to my bedroom and into the en-suite. I hadn't slept last night, my new neighbour who I learned was named Jeremy had stayed to help me straighten up the front room after my physical confrontation with Jonah.

Not going to lie; Jeremy was a mixture of that old school movie-star handsome and the classic boy next door appealing, quite literally. With ocean-blue eyes that I swear could see deep into my soul, an appealing shaped nose and those, plump rose coloured lips and that fully sculpted body - he was a walking wet dream. There is no denying that I am deeply attracted to the outer packaging of the man, but he was really guarded in respect to the man he is. Even when he had stayed to help me with cleaning up my home, he hadn't talked all that much. I mean he was perfectly polite but there were no sharing little parts of himself or who he really was.

It didn't really matter anyway; I was intent on taking some time for myself - I need to focus on who I am and what I want out of life. I mean I have an amazing job that I can't see myself tiring of it, ever. I have a lovely home where I feel truly at peace - this was my haven, my safety net, I could just be me in here and not worry what anyone thought of me. I have an amazing family - unfortunately, it felt like they were on the other side of the world, Hell they may as well have been in space for how far away they were from me right now.

I have one real regret from my time here in Scotland - I hadn't put myself out there to make friends. My whole world here centred in and around Jonah and I suddenly get the sense that, that is where we went wrong. I knew better than to build a life around a man. I hadn't been raised that way.

What the fuck had I done?

I had moved half-way across the world on a fucking whim. I had dropped everything from my life back home for a fucking man!! I had turned into one of those women that Hailey and I used to pity. Rushing as fast as my sprained ankle would allow, along the hallway to the small toilet room on the side of the house, I dropped to my knees and threw up.

Who have I become? Not who I ever thought that I would be, that was for sure. I had just freshened up when the banging on my front door began followed by the clink of the letter-box opening, "come on Shay, let me in baby, we can fix this! I love you, don't end it like this!" Jonah yelled through the letter-box.

My stomach churned once again but I swallowed it down moving to the back door and ensuring I had indeed locked it, then to the French doors ensuring they were also locked and pulled the curtains over them to ensure he couldn't see me if he came back here. I quickly made myself some coffee and then grabbed a movie and my phone and climbed the stairs.

If I just ignore him for long enough; he will get the picture and he will hopefully take his stuff and leave. I wasn't ready to get into this with him. I needed space and I needed time to get my head straight. Not that I would change my mind about us being together, but I needed to process the very real conclusion that I had come to realise about myself.