Infatuation (King George III xreader)

~64~ Only you...

"Nonsense." She smiles a little wider, her frame standing with grace after she had placed the fabric down onto the table.
I look up as she steps forward, her hands held out towards me.
"Come on, go to him."

~~~

My hand knocks swiftly - showing a sense of impatient urgency before my fingers intertwine by my abdomen.

"George. Can we talk?" I ask, my gaze falling to the floor by my side and I try to focus my attention on any small detail.

At the moment, I wasn't too keen on the silence that hugged me - and the expected sound of footsteps padding their way to the door wasn't breaking it.

"George?" I speak up after a minute, my fingers pinching my palm before I exhale and bring it up once again - knocking with a timid hand.
"...I'm not trying to be a bother, I'm just not feeling very well-" I draw my hand back, glancing at the door as if to correct myself.

"that's not to say I'm falling ill. I just mean that I- well I have a lot on my mind...and honestly I don't know if I'm ready to talk about it or not. But you're starting to notice, Marion is too, although she hasn't said too much."

I step closer to the door, the hall falling silent as I swallow back pins and needles.

"I...I just want to scream." My voice was much softer, my eyes unfocused on my hands and the striped pattern of my simple dress. "It feels like I'm breaking yet I won't shatter."

My head shakes away the tears, forcing them back and as my hand raises towards the handle I silently scold my impatience.

I didn't mean to intrude - I didn't want to...but my body made the choice for me.

The handle turns, signalling the door's opening with a click before it then moves towards the hall to reveal the room that lay behind it.

The empty room.

My heart wanted to fall - mixing with a sense of downed relief and saddened thoughts.

I step into the room, my movements slow and my eyes scanning the area for any sign of life aside from the crackling embers of a lit fireplace - it was peaceful, quiet - causing a breath to pass through my lips as I lean back on the door, closing it partway.

Warmth coated the area like a dear friend cuddled close to you with your favorite blanket on a dark and wintery night, helping to coax the flush that spread across my cheeks with ease.

My gaze seemed to lazily draw itself towards the desk near the back-center of the room - both the shuffled papers across its surface, and pushed out chairs making it clear the room had only been vacant for a short time.

My steps were slow, holding a hint of caution reminiscent of lurking danger that lie just out of view, but the bright red and gold of a familiar article of clothing was more than wanting to push the feeling aside as it caught my attention with ease.

It looked lifeless, the silk of the jacket shining with an air of elegance as it lay draped across the arm of the chair.

A thought knocks away the content smile, its grasp on my features falling loose and my hands dangle by my sides as I step forward - mocking myself with a heartless scoff.

I did - was doing exactly what she said I would...being a bother when I had no grip on my emotions.

Why was I so emotional?
What happened to what little strength and control I had back home?

"Just stop..." I whisper in irritation towards the thoughts I didn't want there. "It's exactly what he said would happen - what he warned you about..."