It's always been you

Prologue (Part 3)

Silence follow while Tian holds his gaze for a moment or two. 

He expected Tian to explode after him, but instead, he was caught off guard when the other guy sobs over his hands. A deep sigh escaped his lips. He knew his tone was a bit harsh but it was not enough to make Tian, the ever-resilient type, shed a tear. 

He wanted to say sorry and to ask him what's going on... but his gut's telling him that there is more to his story than he thought at first. 

"What's going on, Tian?" This time he made his tone softer than before. 
Chih Tian rubs his face frustratingly before he let Evan see his tear-stricken demeanor.

His eyes hold fire yet there is a ray of exhaustion marring its depth. 

"YU... YU..." He stops after uttering Yang Yu Teng's name as if it was killing him to do so. His heart clenches even without knowing what he's gonna say next. 

Intuition is a very dangerous thing, and when it kicks your guts, there is no hiding it. Something just happened. That he could surmise. 

"He's gone, Evan." 

His mind is off the rails and didn't catch Tian's word so he asked, "What?" 

"Yang Yu Teng is dead! He's dead!" Chih Tian burst out. Tears fell on his face, his eyes red and angry. 

Evan felt like he was struck by lightning. Dead? YU? When did the word death become associated with someone as Yang Yu Teng? If Zi Hong was here... 

His blurry thoughts were shaken by Tian after he grabs on his collar and yanks him up. "Where the fuck is that bastard? Where was he when YU stood on the edge of that bridge? Where was he to stop him from dying? Where was he when he promised to love him until the very end? Where the fuck was he when YU needs him the most? Where the fucking heck was he?!" 

Both Tian and Evan fell to the floor. One was hysterically crying and the other was shocked into silence. And for the first time since both of them get acquainted through Zi Hong, Evan pulled the man into his embrace. Tian didn't push him so he let him cry his heart out on his chest. 

"Didn't he promised to hold his hand forever? But where was he when YU needed someone to pull him up from the edge of that bridge? Didn't he promise that his love will never change? But why did he fell out of love just like that?" Tian chokes on his sobs, but he still didn't stop throwing questions that Evan doesn't know how to answer. 

"What's the truth? What's a lie?" Tian mumbles as he pulls himself away from his arms.

"Didn't YU deserve an acceptable reason? Didn't YU deserve a better closure? Maybe... just maybe... if Lin Zi Hong has been honest with him, then he might have moved on and not chosen this path. Why can't Zi Hong have the decency to explain anything! Why? Why?!" 

Only Lin Zi Hong, if he was there has the answer Tian needs. But he wasn't... only Evan is. Yet Tian was not finished, and he will not stop him this time. "And you know what Yu Teng deserves more?" Tian asked while staggering up to find back his footing. 

"He deserves to see the guilt painted on the face of the man who betrayed him. He deserves that much. A sincere apology even if it was only at his grave." 

Evan closed his eyes, this time not because of irritation. He was trying to stop himself from crying. For he wanted to. 

How absurd all these things have turned out to be? How did the once so perfectly happy relationship fell into a tragic entangled mess like this? 

"I swear on Zi Hong that I will not tell anyone until... until the right time comes." 

Tian eyed him with confusion. "Right time? For his explanation? It's been a whole damn year and he still needs time to sort his issues out? It's too fucking late, Evan! YU was already a cold corpse. Lin Zi Hong has no one to turn back on even if he wanted to." 

A tear fell down on Evan's cheek. He wipes it out in an instant. "Nothing is what it seems, Tian. I... I made a promise and if the circumstances were different and I would be threaten to die today... I would have brought this secret to my grave. For this is not the right time." He paused trying so hard not to have a panic attack. He took a deep breath and look Tian straight in the eyes. 

"But I guess the promise is void now since there is no way for the main condition to be fulfilled..." 

Chih Tian frown, his face a mask of confusion. "What are you talking about?" 

Evan stood up and walk towards the nearby cabinet. He retrieved a piece of card and head back to where Tian was standing. He looked at the card for a moment, tears glistening in his eyes before giving it to Tian. 

"Find Richard in that orchard. He'll bring you to Zi Hong." 

Tian took the card and look back at him in disbelief. "Why is Lin Zi Hong in an orchard? What the fuck he was doing there? Isn't it the place where YU and he first met? What's going on Evan?" 

Evan felt like his head is about to explode. "You'll know when you get there." 
When Chih Tian remain standing there without moving, he couldn't help but plead. "This has been a very painful day for both of us. You got what you came here for. Leave me to wallow in my misery. Will you?" 

Tian finally let him off the hook and turn to head towards the door, when he turned back again. "If only Lin Zi Hong has been honest even just once in his life... we all have been spared from this disaster." 

Evan would agree if he doesn't know better. But he knows everything. And Tian will about to learn for himself after this. 

Instead of replying he laid his head on the sofa and closed his eyes. After a minute or so, he heard the closing of his front door. That is only the time he had let himself cry. 

He curled his body on the sofa, hugging his knees as he lulls himself to calm down. He had long accepted that he’ll keep his cousin’s request until the time it was supposed to be told.

He thinks of himself as a very loyal individual and if YU was the one who came today, he would have kept his mouth shut. However, it’s not YU… it’s not YU. If only it was YU… everything Zi Hong does would have not turned in vain…

Evan couldn’t stop his tears from falling. He couldn’t decide who was more pitiful, YU or his cousin? Who wronged who? Who sacrificed for whom? 

No one can go back now.

In the end… it’s all in vain.

~~~

 A/N

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