ethan becomes based

ethan and the dimitrescu daughters

(Quick note: i copy pasted this from my google doc via mobile [usually i do it via PC] so if the formatting is really messed up ill fix it later when im on the computer. i am also editing at 3:30 am fjfkjfkfkf ty that is all)

"uh, hey... who are you?" ethan said. he felt like he had said that a thousand times so far and he had only been in this village for like, 6 hours.

    "i'm bela. not like that's important, i just wanted to say that i'm impressed that mother didn't instantly kill you. i was excited to see her slice you into ribbons," bela said.

    "your mom is alright. she hasn't done anything too bad to me except for tasting some of my blood and calling me annoying," ethan said. he, on god, did not know how to reply in the slightest.

    bela just laughed at him. "well, you were being annoying as hell. when mother heard you shattering our vases... oh man, she was so mad hahaha. you'd better be careful around here little twink. i'm assuming you're trying to get those keys to get out of here and go to the next place, right? not gonna be that easy, bud."

    upon hearing that, he furrowed his brows and huffed. if there was anything ethan hated, it was being called 'bud'. he also hated being underestimated in any way. he was definitely going to show off and get that stupid dumb key to prove this 'bela' woman wrong.

    the girl raised her brows at his expression. "ohhhhh, you mad bro~? hehehe~" she said teasingly.

    "wha—... are you quoting that ... that troll guy? TROLLFACE. right, i knew that one," ethan said hurriedly.

    "heh, don't worry about it, normie boy!" bela sneered. she loved picking on people who weren't experienced in meme lore. whenever her mother hired maids or servants or whatever, she would 'interview' them and ask what kind of memes they liked. if they successfully navigated her mind games then they could be free to walk around. there were no servants here today because it was a holiday and lady dimitrescu, despite being a sexy vampire milf, was an advocate for workers' rights and humane work hours.

    "okay, explain to me in concrete terms: what is a normie. i'm aware that i count as a normie but why," ethan asked. he was stalling for time because he didn't feel like doing anything weird. he kind of figured out the definition before when heisenberg flamed him but wanted to get some alternate opinions.
   
    bela sighed loudly. "okay, look. you're a normie because you just are. you're a normal guy with normal interests. like, you don't know memes very well and youre not tainted by the Curse of Irony. in a way, i almost envy you, not having to be plagued by knowing all these stupid ass memes... now, if you'll excuse me... Wait, hold on. come with me."

    ethan pondered his options for a moment. follow some pretty woman to a mystery location or continue to be lost for the next few hours? it was going to be infinitely better to just freaking go along. "uh okay, i'll just come with you then."

    "you didn't really have another option by the way. if you had said no i'd probably have just taken you along anyway. i'm going to introduce you to my sisters and show you what irony poisoning does to an mf," bela said.

    the man just nodded. they weaved through several halls, each one being quite elaborate and well decorated. whoever the interior designer of this place was, ethan really wanted to hire them for whenever he felt like moving into a new house. then again, he saw all the 'live laugh love' signs hung up on the wall and shook his head.

    "no, i will take inspiration from everything but That," he mumbled. he'd been taking pictures of the place on his phone for a while now.

    bela turned around and raised a brow at him. "what are you saying this time? also you better not have gotten me in any of your pictures, i look like a disaster right now."