The Humdrum Life of a Hero

Chapter 31

I watch him as he unbuttons the single button on his jacket and slides it off his back. Then, taking a tentative step towards me, he drapes the jacket over my shoulders. Though my glare softens, my body tenses at his touch.

His hand lingers atop my shoulder before he yanks it away. Standing there in his button down and tie, he shivers a little and then says, "Look, you can hate me for what I did, but just know that I did it because you are a truely remarkable person, Sarah O'Henry. You truely are."

And with that, he walks away.

He walks away just like my mother did, and he has the last word just like my mother did when she left us a year ago.

And I refuse to let him have both just like she did.

"I told you I hated surprises," I say to the parking lot, though intending for him to hear it. When the shuffling of feet abruptly cuts off behind me, I know he heard it loud and clear, so I add, "And you completely betrayed my trust. You went behind my back and employed my brother and Vanessa Holbrook to help you with your grand scheme. It's not sweet, Jay, it's despicable."

"I own up to all of that," he says. I don't hear him coming closer which is good because I might or might not start crying based upon his answer. "But you have to know my intentions were good."

"Really?" I ask rhetorically. "Because how do I know whether or not you orchestrated all of this just to get into my pants?"

I hear him kick some snow behind me and sigh rather exaggeratedly. "Jesus, is that what this is all about? You think I did this, not out of the goodness of my heart, but just so I could have sex with you?"

The goodness of his heart. Did he really just use that phrase? I'm not some fucking charity case that needed his help. I never needed his or anyone's help for that matter.

"First of all," I whip around to face the dickhead, "I'm not a fucking charity case. I never once asked for you to do anything out of the goodness of your heart. And yes, it has definitely crossed my mind that you did this to have sex with me. You just show up one day out of the blue to eat some lasagna, and then you become my boyfriend, we tell each other that we love each other, and then you pull this stunt and it makes me wonder if this was all just a ruse."

I take a shaky breath, but I hold my ground. "It makes me wonder if you really loved me at all."

His face falls, and I hate that I'm making him feel that way, but it's the way he made me feel. Technically, I'm just returning the favor.

"How can you say that? That I don't love you?" he challenges without any real challenge in his voice. In fact, his voice sounds boyish, not like the manly tone it usually is. And if I didn't know any better, I'd assume the water on his cheeks is from the biting wind making his eyes water. But, unfortunately, I know better. Those tears aren't from any biting wind; they're from biting words.

My biting words, cutting deeper and deeper into his skin each time one is uttered.

With a guilty look rounding out my face, I meet his eyes, and I figure that I've come this far, bit down this hard, that I need to finish what I've started. "People don't deceive the ones they love. They don't sneak around like a stalker, taking pictures and documenting their entire lives. They don't hide things like this from them and then reveal it in front of 200 people. They don't do that; they just don't. They're honest with each other."

"You know," Jay wipes at his face, not caring that he's crying, albeit not very hard, in front of me, "When I first approached Tony about this, he told me not to fall in love with you. I should've listened to him."