Lost and Found

Chapter 37

"Did you know that it was my best year at high school?" She looked at Pierre and he could see that he too was struggling to keep it dry as he looked at the photo. "Juliette completed us, she was the missing piece. We were best friends and I wouldn't change anything about our friendship, don't get me wrong, but there was always something that left someone - most of the time me - a bit out. You know what they say, three is always one too many." She rapidly blinked against the tears. "You were boys and drivers whereas I was the only girl and the only one in a different sport, it put a bit of a divider between us."

"We look so happy," Pierre whispered and loudly sighed loudly. 

"We did..." Sara looked up at the ceiling, trying her best to find the right words to explain to Carlos why on earth she had been such a bitch to Juliette earlier. 

"Until Juliette left us. I watched us fall apart. We never really lost touch, but we weren't the trio we were before Juliette because she completed us in every way." She looked back at Pierre. "I watched her break your heart. I saw how Anthoine got hurt because he loved her soo much too. Not in the way you did but we all loved her. I felt my heart breaking too. The constant hurt of not hearing anything from her when she suddenly left. Day in day out, I checked my phone to see if she had responded to my text. For over a year, I kept hoping for a sign of life, but there was nothing." Sara felt her blood boiling again but this time, she could keep her cool. 

"I understand you, Sara, I did the same."

"I never understood her and I never forgave her for what she did."

'But you do understand why she acted and reacted like that?" Sara nodded. She did now and she would have acted so differently if she had only known what was going on. She wouldn't have been as hard on her as she had been and she certainly wouldn't have stayed that mad. "She is hurt too, Sara. Jules has been through a lot and I-" For a moment Pierre was silent. "I'm not trying to talk the bad out of her but she hasn't had it easy. I called her dad when she 'accidentally fell on the stairs and he picked her up, literally dragging her out of her house. Jules left because she couldn't do anything else. It was this or..." He teared up all over again. "... or she wouldn't be here anymore."

"No..." Sara's heart stopped for a moment. She had never known it was already that far when he left. "Oh my goodness." Sara felt like she was going to throw up but she still didn't understand. "She left because of her mum but I don't understand why she left us. She never looked back. We all wanted the best for her. We all love her. If she would have just told us what was going, we would have visited her in England and would have given her all the support she'd need. But she didn't even give us the chance to prove how much she meant to us."

"Go live her life!" Pierre suddenly sneered, making Sara nearly jump. "Jules had a shit life, do you really think she would want to be reminded of that?"

"Apparently enough to stay in touch somewhat with Thione and to fall in love with you all over again." Sara shook her head, clenching her jaws. "You act like she never hurt you, Pierre, she hurt you badly. Just a small reminder. "And I'm just scared." 

"Because you were the one that was left in the group who didn't get back in touch with Juliette." The tears just kept falling like there was no end to them. Just one big stream of tears that constantly flowed down her cheeks.

"In Julie, I had found a sister. She had become family over that year and she just left me behind. She got back with you and Thoine but I guess she didn't think I was good enough to get back to. Yet another thing I failed at in my teens I guess."

"Don't say that Sara!"

"But it is true, everything that happened in my teens is ruined. My friendship with Juliette, my career in badminton, my relationship with Noah, were the things I cared about most and I lost it all. Thank goodness me I got to know you and Thoine before that but it seems that the curse of my teens reaches further than just my teens because, on top of all of that, I have lost Thoine now as well."

"You know you are never going to lose me right?"

"You can't say that," Sara whispered. "With you dating Juliette I am going to because Julie and I in one room can only turn out in a fight so I will lose you or she will break your heart and I will lose a piece of you because I am not blind Pierre. You are head over heels for her even more so than when we were teens. She is the woman you love and either option would mean I'd lose you." Pierre shook his head and pulled Sara in for a tight and comforting hug as Sara finally let go of herself. Loud sobs filled the room together with the words of comfort Pierre whispered in an attempt to calm Sara down. "I was just hoping that making you realise what she did would stop you from falling even harder for her. I was trying to protect you, but maybe even more so myself."

"Oh, Sara." Pierre's eyes filled with tears. It hadn't even occurred to him that by losing Anthoine, he had been the only one left for her. He had found Juliette through it all but that meant she was feeling like she was alone in it all, like it was slipping away from her.

"Maybe you should talk to Juliette about this?"

"I don't know Pierre." She whispered. "I don't want to be a bother to her. I now know why she did it, I don't want to put the extra negativity on it with me feeling shit about it still."

"But maybe it will clear up the air?" Sara shook her head. She wasn't going to tell Juliette everything she had just told Pierre because despite feeling bad for all the things she had yelled at Juliette, she still thought Juliette would have to be the one to come to her. She had been the one to leave, no matter how bad her situation. It was not her fault but she had been a victim of it all and she wasn't about to say sorry for all of that.