A tragic fabula

1

The sun peeked behind the grey-ish clouds, while it drizzled.

Luckily, I had my black umbrella with me. My aunt gave it to me, engraved with her family name on it. I like black, that's why I still don't understand why black or white are not acknowledged as colors.
They are considered as outsiders, having nowhere to belong.

Scared, that somehow my curriculum vitae and application might get wet, I took a deep breath, before entering the book store.

Look at all these full bookshelfs, the books waiting to be bought and explored the worlds within them, was the first thought I had. I trampled with my shoes on the foot carpet, to get rid off of the dirt caused by the now showery weather.

Quit fortunate. I don't want to conjure something bad, but somehow everything goes suspiciously well. I looked at my phone. I was perfectly on time. Since there was no one at a time like this at a book store, I tried to walk in confidently. I looked around, admiring the smell of old and new books. I already love it.
The only thing I'm able to love. Books.
~
Flashback
"What is this?", says the man in front of me. My so-called dad. Looking down at me, he tears the poster I made, perfectly through the middle.
"Thinking this would help with your studies. I knew your friends would influence you in a bad way", he scoffs. "You are better alone, or they will drag you also down", he adds.
~

It was a poster for the school
band in the middle school. My classmates wanted me to draw, since they thought I was good at drawing. I spent hours for that poster, just to be ripped apart and thrown away as if it was just some of my old sketches. I stiffened at that memory. Good that I stopped drawing after that.
This place was kind of refreshing, since I was away from that place. It was big, had multiple floors, even though the ceiling was pretty high. It looked old, but also modern.

"-Iss..."

Lost in my thoughts, a feminine voice teared me away from being too much in my head.

"Miss, are you the one who wanted to work here part-time?", she said.
I turned around to take a look at her.
She was uniquely beautiful. Her curly brown hair hung right above her shoulders. Her bangs touching her long eyelashes. Her dark skin shone because of the sun rays that touched her skin. Admiring her clean face, she smiled at me. I lightly blushed, since I didn't know for how long I was staring at her.
"My colleague received your call and told me about you. I'm really excited for you to introduce yourself, since we're short on staff.", she said.
She was around her twenties. I enjoyed her presence, it was positive, exciting, yet calm and quiet.
Soon she led me into another room where we could talk.
I got to know her name.
Saffiya.
Suprisingly, the interview went really good and fast, that I ended up getting the job. We exchanged numbers, after saying good bye I went home.
The rain stopped half an hour ago, the streetfloor still muddy. It was quiet, for a saturday afternoon.
I didn't want to go home. Where those people lived. All they did and still do is looking down at me, as if I was a rat, aching for love. Don't worry, I stopped wanting to get attention and love from you. I will leave as soon as I get my first payment.

After my dad remarried, there was never peace at this household. He literally waited for my mum to die. He never loved her.
I still keep thinking how it would've been, if she wouldn't have married my dad. She would live in peace, and not have such a dissapointing daughter.

Do you see me mum? How I'm disappointing everyone, by simply just existing? I promised that I atleast would protect you. Ironic isn't it? That you died, although I stroved for it. To die.
Catching myself, diving again into my thoughts and overthinking, I got interrupted by a little boy, crying on the dirty road edge. Wondering, what may happened, I stared at him. Did he lose his parents? Is he lost?
As I got nearer to him, he looked into my direction, locking his eyes with mine. I guess I probably got caught. I sat next to him, looking directly into his eyes.
"What happened?", I asked camly, trying to give him a smile. He stopped crying, his tears falling down his cheeks. He started to smile.
"Funny, that we are both crying", he said. I widened my eyes. Again, I tried to give him a smile.