Trust

All-Purpose Cleaner

San snorts. "You are the best singer I know. Apart from Dean and Zion T maybe..." His grin grows impossibly wider.

Jongho rolls his eyes, although there is a faint blush dusting his cheeks now. "Don't exaggerate, San. I swear, you get so obsessed with things like this – your favorite singers, favorite festival, whatever. And now let go of me before I'll dump you on the ground."

Pouting, San lets go of his cousin. "I'm not obsessed with them. Or the festival", he defends himself.

"Really?" Jongho throws him a suspicious glance. "Then you should know that there are other opportunities to perform too. This singer-songwriter contest for example that we-"

"But I can't play the guitar, and you know that the guitarists always win there", San interrupts him.

Jongho stares at him for a few moments – before he reluctantly nods. "Fair enough. But what about this annual city festival in fall-"

"That's boring."

"... or that music camp next summer where they've got mentors and everything-"

"I already applied for that!"

Jongho sighs, a bit exasperated. "Then focus on that."

"But it's eternities away... and I've already wrote a couple of songs. I just wanna get into the Festival of Lights – if I manage that, I'm sure everything else will work out too." San throws Jongho a confident smile as he pushes the doors to the cafeteria open.

"Believe whatever you want to", Jongho mumbles as he lets his eyes wander. "Oh, look – everyone's sitting at one table again. Come on!"

San follows his gaze – yep, everyone's already there, sitting at two tables that they've pushed together. There are Wooyoung and Yeosang, who are making a tense and awkward effort of ignoring each other by staring off into different directions; and there are Hongjoong and Seonghwa, smiling at Yunho and Mingi who are jumping up and down in their seats, beaming-

"Wonder what going on there", Jongho mumbles curiously, and San nods in agreement. Although he knows that Yunho and Mingi can also freak out happily because of something as little as rescuing a bee without getting stung, it does look like it's something huge now.

"Hey guys", San greets all of their friends cheerfully once he and Jongho have reached their table, and six heads turn towards them. "What's going on?"

Mingi hasn't even stopped bouncing in his seat.

"San! Guess what! Take a seat!" Yunho giggles. "Oh my God! I'm going to freak out!"

"You already are", Jongho tells him.

Mingi beams at San and Jongho. "Guess who's gonna perform at the Festival of Lights next year?" Proudly grinning, he points at himself, then Yunho, Yeosang and Wooyoung.

Mingi – Yunho – Yeosang – Wooyoung.

What?

Within a second, San feels the grin dropping from his face – because this couldn't be farther from what he'd been expecting. Wasn't he so optimistic, just a minute ago, that it was only a matter of time before he would be asked to perform at the festival? Now it appears to be the opposite: all of his friends have been invited to perform there – except for Jongho.

Silently, San lets his gaze wander over their table to take it all in: utterly happy Mingi and Yunho; Yeosang who stoically avoids his gaze and looks down at the table; and Wooyoung who is tense all of a sudden, staring from Seonghwa to Hongjoong, and back.

San feels excluded and miserable – but he still manages to force another smile on his face.

"Congrats, guys." Jongho is the first one to open his mouth. Maybe it's not so surprising he regained composure faster than San since he wasn't so invested in the idea of performing at the festival in the first place.

San gulps and clears his throat. "Yeah, congrats. That's great."

"Who invited you?", Jongho wants to know, taking a seat.

"Uhm, actually..." Hongjoong clears his throat. "We did – Seonghwa and I. This is kind of our project for our bachelor thesis next semester..."

As if everything wasn't already bad enough, San now feels tears prickling in his eyes. So Seonghwa and Hongjoong had planned this – and they hadn't even bothered including him and Jongho.

Still standing, San scans the seven faces at their table one more time: blank-looking Jongho, Yunho and Mingi who have finally stopped smiling and bouncing as if only now getting the fact that something is off, apologetic Hongjoong, awkward Seonghwa who avoids his eyes, Yeosang who stares fiercely at the two soon-to-be graduates... and Wooyoung. Wooyoung who is thinking hard, chewing on his bottom lip, gaze fixed on his half-empty plate-

Wooyoung abruptly looks up. "San."

"Yeah?"

"We still need to buy that all-purpose cleaner for our flat", Wooyoung tells him, and San wonders why this is so important all of a sudden. "Let's go and buy it now."

"... now?"

Wooyoung shrugs. "We need to do it soon anyways. I don't know shit about cleaning supplies, but a bottle of all-purpose cleaner should work for everything, right? Our kitchen is getting dirtier by the day. Also, there was a bird this morning that smudged its poop against our kitchen window, and I really don't wanna eat in our kitchen while there's a giant stain of bird's poop glaring at me."

San has to suppress a chuckle. "Me neither", he confirms. And suddenly he gets why Wooyoung is doing this, cutting across such a topic at lunch. And a wave of gratefulness rolls over him.

"Okay, let's go then?", he suggests. Keeping his voice stable has become so much harder now, where he just wants to hug Wooyoung and weep in his arms, overwhelmed from emotions. But he manages.

"Sure." Wooyoung gets up quickly, taking off to dump the rests of his lunch in the trash – whereas San hesitates.

"Jongho?" He looks at his cousin.

"Huh?" Jongho looks back at him, and San can't tell whether Jongho really doesn't care that all of his other friends are participating in an event he isn't a part of – or if he cares a lot more than he lets show on his face.

"I-... There's a market next to the Daiso. I'm gonna get grilled cheese there. You want some too?"

There's a brief pause – then Jongho nods, getting up from his chair quickly. "See you later", he tells the remaining five of their group.

"Yep, see you", San mutters. He drags Jongho over to the cafeteria's exit, where Wooyoung is already waiting for them.

When the three of them exit the cafeteria together, San could swear that he can feel the others' stares boring into his back until the door slams shut behind them.