Inevitable Moments of Collision (g x g)

Lost and delirious

Time sure slows down when you have nothing to do. Or when you can’t do anything, rather. I think I’ve sat in place for almost half an hour; it was really boring without company here at home. I found that very weird cause I never remembered feeling this way when I was confined in the past.

“Love is intensified by absence.” Josie said while leaning onto my room’s door pane.

“Shut up, Josie.”

She shot her hands up again like she didn’t do anything wrong, “I’ve been standing here for a minute now and you didn’t even notice. I guess your mind was occupied.” My eyes squinted towards her, “Do you have anything better to do?”

I sighed, “Not really.”

“Well you can borrow my laptop if you want, watch movies there.” Josie offered, it didn’t seem like a bad idea so I nodded.

She disappeared from sight then came back five minutes later, laptop in hand. She placed it on my lap with the headphones.

“You can search movies there,” She pointed at the search box, like I didn’t know that. “Now, no nasty stuff okay?” She said again with that ole smug look.

“Shut the door on your way out, will you?”

She laughed, “I love you too.”

●●●

      I don’t know how I ended up watching this movie; it’s entitled Lost and Delirious. Apparently it’s an LGBT movie, which kind of piqued my interest. I didn’t expect much from it, really.

Piper Perabo starred in it with Jessica Paré as co-main-leads, they were amazing really. Though I may say that it was a bit explicit – I mean they showed their rack and stuff – but halfway through it was a good start.

It started getting heavy and unpredictable when Tori – Jessica Paré – was kind of avoiding Paulie – Piper Perabo –. I loved how Paulie defended herself from Mary – Mischa Barton – when she accused her of being gay. She said that she was not a girl in love with another girl, for she was Paulie in love with Tori.

That statement goes a long way, I kind of salute her for saying that, defining that all love is equal.

When I finished the movie though, I was left with mixed feelings. My heart was heavy and was burdened with sadness. I didn’t expect things would go so insane, true love really is a once in a lifetime feeling. But rejection, that’s just another thing.

SPOILER ALERT: Paulie commits suicide.

Right after the estimated time of the movie finished, I just sat. Contemplating about nothing, thinking about nothing, my mind completely blank. All that was left with me was this really profound load in my heart and a lump in my throat.

I hate that movie. I guess people hate things that don’t turn out the way they want to, in the end, I wanted Paulie and Tori to find their way together. Even if it didn’t made sense, just find their way back and love each other again.

            It was a realistic movie, I thought.

Right after a few minutes just sitting doing and thinking nothing, I set Josie’s laptop beside me; not even bothering to close the browser. I grabbed my phone from the bedside table and dialed Melissa’s number.

As soon as she picked up, I said, “Have you ever felt so down? And like, you feel this heavy load in your heart?”

“Uhh, Hello.” She chuckled, “And yeah, once or twice I guess. Why?”