Crimson and Clover

No Paths Are Bound - Part 1

Who would have thought Xie Lian was so greedy at heart?

He spares enough thought to be gentle with San Lang's jewellery, but his clothes don't get the same treatment. All words are lost, all reason ceases to be in the desire that overcomes them both. When San Lang licks the palm of his hand from the base to the fingertips, Xie Lian thinks, I want those fingers in me. Then San Lang takes them both in that hand and all thoughts evaporate.

He's quick, almost rough. Xie Lian doesn't mind, far from it; he loses himself in pleasure instead. For a few moments, there's no other thought in his head but the awareness of San Lang's touch and the feeling of his lips mouthing a trail of kisses and bites down his throat and shoulder. Bruises from their wedding night and the morning after it still haven't healed. Now, new ones will mark his skin, and he wants—more. He wants it all.

It's over almost too quickly. He comes down the high with a nigh boneless San Lang lying on top of him, heedless of the mess between their bodies. Hope once more blooms incandescent in his heart – that all will be well, that it will last, that the end of the road will see him side by side and hand in hand with San Lang.

He brushes strands of hair from his husband's face. "Will you come with me somewhere today?"

San Lang shifts slightly; just enough so that he can look at Xie Lian. "Where?"

"To the royal mausoleum."

He holds his worries at bay as San Lang falls silent. Eventually, he hides his face from view. "I know I already agreed to that before, but... Would that even be proper?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"I was a commoner. The lowest of them all."

Xie Lian doesn't know where these sudden bursts of doubt come from, but he vows to pull them all out of San Lang's heart. "Now you're a ghost king." He will repeat that time and again for as long as it's necessary. "And my husband. That alone—"

"Yes." San Lang embraces him before Xie Lian can finish. "Yes. I'll go with you."

Warmth blooms in Xie Lian's heart. It's such a fragile thing, forgotten so long ago. Only now does he learn anew what it means to be happy. There are shades to that feeling, those he knew and some he never learnt, and now he's been given another chance at it. If only he could tell which god granted this blessing, he would have worshipped them till the last day of his existence. But alas he knows not, and so all Xie Lian can do is smile at his husband and take his hand when San Lang gets out of bed and then drags him to the bath.

What transpired the day before is as distant as it can get when then wash. San Lang steals kisses every now and then, and Xie Lian is more than willing to give them. It's impractical, and prolongs the simple act of cleaning oneself into nigh infinity, because kisses lead to touches, and touches lead to an embrace, and in the embrace explodes passion they can't seem to shake off yet.

Xie Lian wonders if it's going to remain this way. He certainly wouldn't mind if it were so.

He pushes San Lang onto a stool in their bedroom when they're done, running his fingers through hair that seems endless. By now, he knows how much his husband adores this; how pliant and boneless he goes whenever Xie Lian buries his hands in his hair. He understands it. It's such a simple gesture, so innocent. It always evokes calm and satisfaction in a world where there's been none for so long, and if Xie Lian feels that way, then how much stronger must it affect San Lang? His mind runs at incredible speed—and who could blame him? He holds an entire realm in his hands.

"Do you want me to go back to sleep, gege?"

Xie Lian laughs. He can't help it – just like happiness, laughter comes easy in San Lang's company. "No." He divides San Lang's mass of hair into three strands and starts braiding it slowly, left to right and right to left, and back again. He's not proficient, far from it. But it brings him comfort and focus, and San Lang is more than happy to let him do, so why should he stop? "I just... ah, I had an idea, but now that I look at it, I don't think it was good."