Crimson and Clover

No Paths Are Bound - Part 6

Come morning, Xie Lian doesn't tell San Lang anything.

It's a quiet thing, the new day, and it finds them wrapped around each other in their bed that initially seemed far too big but now proves to be just perfect. For once, no meeting awaits them. There's no need to immediately mitigate the consequences of a new disaster that has befallen them. No unwanted guest requires being dealt with at the cost of precious moments spent together.

For the first time in days, it's just the two of them: Xie Lian and San Lang.

How can he possibly ruin this?

"Good morning, gege," San Lang murmurs into Xie Lian's neck. His words fan over Xie Lian's skin and leave goose bumps in their wake.

"Good morning, San Lang." He puts his arms around San Lang and pulls him closer. After a moment, they arrange themselves in a tangle of limbs and loose robes that is a perfect combination of closeness and comfort. "Are you feeling better today?"

"Gege's here. How can I not feel better?"

Xie Lian should have known that would be the answer. He would give a similar one if it were him. "I'll always be here," he says instead of pushing the subject. He did it yesterday; the least he can give San Lang today is the space to calm down and clear his head. "Unless San Lang doesn't want me to, in which case..."

"Don't be absurd." His husband's arms tighten around him. He always does this—did so even in the past—as if the more desperate the grip around someone, the least likely it was for them to disappear. In the past, he clung to Xie Lian with all the might a malnourished, abused child could possibly possess.

Did he ever want to hold on to anyone else?

There's an empty space on the ancestral altar in Qiandeng Temple, and it poses questions Xie Lian isn't sure how to ask.

"How could I ever want you to leave when you're my only reason to exist?" San Lang murmurs into Xie Lian's skin, and his voice carries the promise of caresses.

They've had so little time for that.

"San Lang," Xie Lian says in an equally soft voice. It's a fragile thing, this new day, and it wouldn't do to shatter it. "How about we... stay here today."

Like they used to before the nightmare of old has returned from whence it lay buried beneath the pain of a hundred swords. Those were precious days filled with wonder only the awareness of reciprocation could bring. Xie Lian misses that unhurried, budding intimacy with all his heart.

San Lang hums and shifts, slotting himself between Xie Lian's legs. He looks down at him, propped as he is on both hands, and the glint in his eye is that of his usual self. "And what does my beautiful husband suggest that we do? The day is long after all. There are so many possibilities."

Under the weight of San Lang's body and words, Xie Lian feels his face get warmer. What a marvellous thing it is, a body's memory. He still can't get a grasp on it.

"Has San Lang got any ideas? You always agree to my whims, so what if we do what you want this time."

San Lang's eye widens. He looks to the side, then back at Xie Lian, and on his face is the hunger of a millennium of longing. "I'm afraid gege won't like what I want," he murmurs even as he leans in to press a long, searing kiss to Xie Lian's throat that's barely more than just pressure with the hint of teeth. "It's... a lot."

"Haven't we done a lot already?"

They made awkward first love on the altar in Xie Lian's temple. It can hardly get wilder than that.