Mouse

chapter Thirty

I blinked in surprise, because it was something I was not aware of.

Ricardo smiled a little smugly, and waggled the bottle of water he had in his hand towards my face, " Ha! I got you there, didn't I? I knew something about your mother that you didn't."

"Well I never heard my Grandfather or my Aunt Lizzie ever mention that my mother actually did anything in the circus," I replied in defence, "So how could I? Anyway how do you know?" I then demanded, suddenly uncertain if he was just teasing me about it.

Yet deep down I sensed he wasn't, which was why I was curious.

"Didn't you ever wonder why it was your Grandfather felt so strongly about your mother? Why she was his favourite daughter? and why her leaving the circus effected him so bitterly?" Ricardo then asked his expression now serious as he continued,

"I didn't fully understand the whole story myself until he confided in me about it one evening, Your Grandfather had just a few too many whiskey's and was in a rather melancholy mood, otherwise he might never have mentioned it to me,"

"Why, what happened?" I asked Ricardo, who now had my full attention

"Well it seemed from a young age, your mother was a natural on the trapeze. In fact she performed along with your Grandfather. He had high hopes for her future, and that she would make a great name for herself in the circus." Ricardo then explained,

"But as you know yourself, it turned out it was not what she wanted.. She had her sights set on a better education and becoming a teacher. Your Grandfather thought it was a terrible waste, and was greatly disappointed, he felt she was rejecting her natural gifted talent, and in doing so, was also rejecting him and everything he stood for," Ricardo said ruefully, "After he disowned her, when she went ahead and married your father, he never liked to talk about what could have been.. It hurt him too much, which was why no one was allowed to mention it," he finished

"I-I never realised the full story," I said quietly, wishing my Grandfather had told me about these things

"No, I don't suppose you did," Ricardo relented, "But you see, since then, I have tried to make up for that disappointment you mother had caused him," he then said with a small frown,

"When he took an interest in me and my career in the circus, he told me I had the same potential as his daughter, but I at least appreciated it, and wanted to do something with it. I would like to think that I had managed in some small way to make him proud of all he taught me, even if I was not his flesh and blood"

"I know he was proud of you, and you were like a son to him," I then reiterated

Ricardo sighed, "Exactly; which is why I need to do this. Just as much for his memory, as for myself. I know if he were here today he would be encouraging me, I want his legacy to live on.. and this is the only way I can do it. Can you understand that?" His dark eyes rested on me intently

The fact Ricardo admitted he was doing this partly for my Grandfather put a whole new light on the situation, and now understanding his motives a little better, I found myself just moved that he had cared so much about my Grandfather, that he felt he had to push himself to his limits, just to show the world what he helped him to achieve.

He had understood him in a way I never could, and I found myself almost envying that.

Suddenly I felt a little guilty that I had not encouraged and supported Ricardo a little more than I could have recently. But knowing his dedication had stemmed from my Grandfather and all he had learned him, it was something I had been unable to appreciate really until now.