Tainted Perception | Wilbur Soot Angst (ORIGINAL)

One Day

TW: Existential crisis, themes of depression

A/N: Kinda a filler chapter, kinda not

Ranboo stared blankly at the clock, his mind not really processing the meaningless numbers that made up time. What was time, anyway? It was a measure, he knew that, but of what? What was the point of it? Sighing into his hands, he forced himself out of that train of thought. It was like a black hole, once he passed the event horizon, there was no way out. He would get caught in the gravity that was existence and he would lose his grip on the thread that was his sanity.

Trying to distract himself, he booted up his computer, typing in his password with a practiced ease. He had several options, he could mindlessly scroll through a social media outlet (which would probably lead to more negative thoughts), he could binge watch old YouTube videos, he could edit his own (give content? never), he could start streaming, he could even call one of his friends. But for some reason he couldn't bring himself to touch the keyboard, to move the mouse. It was like the corded clicker turned into its animal counterpart, dancing away from his tired fingers.

Deciding to do none of the above, he grabbed his phone, because typing into a search bar (or clicking on an icon) seemed ten times harder than opening an app. Finding his desired playlist, he connected his ear buds and pressed play. The music filled his head, driving away all of his messy thoughts, seeping into the far corners of his brain, not allowing any bad things to get in.

It was comforting, hearing his friend's voice again. He remembered all the times he had listened to the albums. Anxiously waiting for any news from Phil or Tommy. The ocean between the two continents seeming impossibly large. Uncrossable and imposing.

Wilbur's singing filling his ears. He found himself humming along to the melody, his voice blending smoothly with the recorded one. The upbeat guitar heavily contrasting the heartbroken lyrics that were being sung. Tears brimmed at his eyes as he thought about all of the small moments that he had missed out on. All of the conversations that he couldn't have. All of the times Wilbur had pulled him out when he was down. All of the times that he was the only reason he got to his computer to stream.

Ranboo felt like he was drowning. The words punctuating each stanza hitting him like a slap to the face, the subtle cries for help that no one answered. Why couldn't I be there for him? He was always there for me. What did I do in return?

Nothing.

-

Tommy smiled as the song started playing. It was a bittersweet feeling, listening to the music that his friend, his older brother in his mind, had spent so much time on. But it was just like the lyrics said, life was inconsistent. And one day, hopefully, Wilbur would be there. Unfortunately, that wasn't now.

He was stuck hoping against hope that the man was okay, that he would get better. There is no way to come out of a situation like that unscathed. And, Tommy didn't expect him to. The boy was prepared to help Will along, he was ready to be heartbroken by the man's state, he was ready to be shattered by the seemingly impossible road to recovery, he was ready to help. And he would, however he could.

Taking a deep breath, he mentally prepared himself, and clicked "Call." The line rang for a while, and Tommy found himself anxiously tapping his fingers against the desk, unsure of what to do.

"Hey." Finally, Phil had answered. He sounded exhausted, sad.

"You good, mate?" the boy asked hesitantly. He could hear a sigh from the other side of the line.

"Yeah, just- just tired."

"Anything I can do?" There was a beat of silence and Phil considered his answer.

"No, no I don't think so."

"How's- how's Will?"

The man paused, "He's not- he's not doing too great, right now."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, mate. It's not anyone's fault."

"I know."

-

The burst of energy he had gotten from Sapnap's positive attitude had worn off long ago, and now Dream was left wallowing in his misery. Sure, he could get up and actually do something with his time, but he just didn't feel like it. Sighing, he spun aimlessly around in his chair, his mind endlessly searching for something to do. Nothing appealed to him.

Suddenly, a sudden noise caught his attention. Turning slightly, he cocked his head, straining his ears to identify the unknown sound. That's when realization struck him. It was Wilbur's music. The songs had become increasingly popular since the man's disappearance, in both his friend group and the fan base. It had become sort of a comfort to them, knowing that no matter what, a piece of him still resided within their reach, with them. Just like Wilbur himself had always been for them. 

Only a couple people will understand this reference, and I am so glad that it is not more. This is for you Loliepop! "Hoesn't" Okayyyy, anyway! I hope everyone has a wonderful day/night!