Melancholy

02| She saw a damaged and broken girl

Lilith was a beautiful woman. There was no denying that. She has short brown hair, like me. Tan skin, like me. And even her facial structure was like mine. But instead of her brown eyes, I had an earthy shade of green. Must have been from my dad's side. Though I never want to see them again.

Yet right now, her tan skin was a darker shade of red. Her brown hair was tied back messily as her eyes stay dilated, almost black without brown.

A slap is delivered to my face making me fall to the ground or to the sudden impact. She pulls me up by my hair making me wince as her hot breath smells of strong alcohol. She throws a punch to my face but I don't react. I could easily defend myself but I held back. I don't fight. I mean she did take me in when my family died. I owe her.

I sometimes wonder if my life would still be hell if my family didn't give up on me. Or if uncle Tom didn't die in that accident. If I just haven't called him to pick me up that day. I should have walked. And now he's dead because of me. Maybe I do deserve this. I'm the reason he's dead. Me. I killed my uncle. My own father figure.

She punches me again, pushing me onto the floor and repeatedly kicking me close to my ribs. She doesn't even stop when a sickening crack is heard as I scream in pain. Instead that makes her laugh watching my misery. Finally she stops grabbing a white packet from a table on the side and leaving. Drugs. And with that she was gone as I was left on the ground, weak.

Lilith was probably high right now so I didn't have to worry about her. I layed there for 5 more minutes until I could finally get up and then dragged myself to the bathroom. I turned the water on the coldest setting as if it'll somehow ease the excruciating pain that spreads through me like a virus passing.

I sigh letting the water cascade down my back though all it does is remind me of those memories. The awful punishments that I once had to endure. Worse and terrible things. He was a monster. He was the cruelest of any of my demons. Everything he did came flooding back even as I tried pushing it away. I hear the voices laughing at me. Watching me suffer and enjoying it.

But I still couldn't get the image of him out of my head. So I scrubbed. Over and over again to maybe just scrub the feeling away out of my head to leave me alone. I don't know how long I did that except that I was basically bleeding.

I stumble out of the showers reaching for my towel that I wrap around myself before leaning against the counter staring into my own eyes. They used to be so full of life. But now they're simply dull with no emotion.

I remember a girl. She used to run around giggling as her brothers chased her home behind. She would play cook with her mom as they danced around to their favorite songs. She would sit across the grass at night with her dad beside her as he told her stories about the stars.

Her and her family would gather around their sweet principessa trying to find out who her favorite was. Her response was always the same. "I love you all the same." But as soon as she saw her pouting dad she would immediately hug him and whisper into his ear that he was her favorite. Her bright green eyes could make anyone awe as they were so filled with life.

That was until she saw the true colors of the world. In one day she lost everything. She learnt that life wasn't filled with love and happiness. Instead life is a world hidden by a veil. As if a wedding where the bride reveals herself by removing the sheer cover.

That was the day everything was shown to the girl.

She was shown the cruelty of the true world. The universe really had a weird way of telling you it's there. Her once bright green eyes that everyone used to love disgusted her as she could no longer see the sweet innocent girl that used to be there. Instead she saw a damaged and broken girl. That girl that once used to be is gone.