drabble<3

love love love

i wonder how it would feel to fall in love again.

with a real person. not the characters and stories in my mind i clung onto for years. they do not suffice anymore. it's like once you had cocaine once, weed doesn't do the job anymore. you need cocaine. it's comfy.

i was in love. it was a mistake i think. a weird hump. it wasn't supposed to happen. i clung onto that boy and he clung onto me. but i think i meant a lot less to him than he did to me. i don't think we were ever supposed to happen. but he helped me understand what i wanted and what to avoid and what that taste of love felt like.

i want to feel loved again. and to love them. but not obsessively, it to be natural and casual and not clingy.

i want to breathe, but be in love.

i'm scared if it but i still want it. there's lots of things i want. i want to be in love, to dance to that song, to go swimming in the lake, to kiss in the rain, to have sex the list goes on. i can make one, if you want?

i just. i just want stability again.

i'm starting a new chapter in my life and i think it's scary.