Chasing Cars - Merder - Grey's Anatomy

Chapter 5

''People have scars in all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret road maps of their personal histories, diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our old wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don't. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere, and though the cut is long gone, the pain still lingers.''

- - - 

Meredith delicately placed the book containing the updated post-it into the bottom of her bag. She stacked her very few clothes on top as protection and zipped it up. Meredith placed the bag on the floor and slid it under the bed to avoid any accidents. She pulled the blankets back and sat her healthy body back into the bed. There were still several hours until her discharge, a few more tests the doctors wanted to run as a precaution. Meredith thought back to the beach, how good it felt to be there, to see the people she loved and missed so much. Somehow, unconsciously she made the choice to come back, to leave the beach. For now. Who knew when she would go back? Was the beach a hallucination her brain created to keep her stimulated in such a dreary time? Or was it a dream that she could have once or twice a week? Would Meredith remember the next day if she ever did have a beach dream? Memories are bullets. Some whip by and only spook you. Others tear you open and leave you in pieces. And some leave you blissfully ignorant.   

Cristina burst through the door and threw herself on the bed disrupting Meredith deep in thought. 

''Did you know that women's tears can reduce mens testosterone levels?'' Cristina blurted out randomly as she propped herself onto her elbows and bit into an apple. 

''What?''

''When a women cries, men lose a bit of their ego.'' Cristina explained. 

''Are you sure?''

''Yes. I'm a doctor.''

''So am I.''

''Uh. You told me that you saw your dead husband, sister and friend. Had audible conversations with them, and could touch them.'' Cristina thought back to that very random conversation they had. 

''And? It's true!''

''Um, okay. Anyway, it's true. Woman cries. Man loses ego. Simple. But complicated at the same time.'' Cristina had this endless energy making her babble on about random things. She did this quite often. 

''I don't think so.'' Meredith hinted. 

''Why?''

''Uhh because it never worked on Derek.'' Meredith said completely serious. Cristina stared at her mid-bite into her apple. She sighed.

''Oh. Yeah it never worked on Owen either. Or Burke. Or any male I've ever cried in front of. Which isn't many, but still.'' Meredith couldn't contain herself. Cristina was completely serious and Meredith found it hilarious. 

''And it obviously never worked on my dad. For my mom or me. I mean, he still left. I'm sure there were lots of tears involved.'' 

''Oh! I remember one time! Jackson did something and I pretended to cry and he got all frantic and worried and you told him to go get Owen and he basically sprinted to find him! That might have been the only time it ever worked.'' Cristina reminisced. 

''But you didn't even cry. There were no tears involved. It was fake.'' Meredith stated.

''Well I haven't decided if it's the actual tears themselves. You know, like the actual liquid that runs down our faces. Or if it's the implied action of crying. Like, making crying noises and acting all sad.''

''You've put a lot of thought into this, clearly.'' Meredith laughed but was completely serious.

''Men.'' The said simultaneously as they rolled their eyes.