Not Who You Thought (BxB Drama-Romance)

Feels Like We're Making Up

The sparse blonde hairs on his abdomen tickle my nostrils. He squirms slightly beneath the feeling of my mouth. I lay kisses on his torso until I hit the hemline of his shirt, then he sits up while I pull it over his head. As I discard his shirt on the floor, he reaches to undress me as well.

The tops of his shoulders have bruises that have faded to yellow with age. This is why he was hiding in that stupid turtleneck a few days ago. I should have left his shirt on, it would have been better. My throat feels constricted at the sight, the taste of caramel mixing with sudden acid reflux.

I don't say anything.

We both get naked and he kisses me on the mouth. He climbs into my lap to straddle me, his thin legs sliding to either side of mine. I think he's going to start grinding on top of me, but he lays his head in the small space between my shoulder and neck instead.

Now I can really see the bruises as I'm staring down his back, their garish yellows and greens. I can count every knob in his spine if I wanted because the vertebrae protrude through his skin. There's a lot of ugly parts of Charlie when he takes his long sleeves off, which is almost unbearable to see today.

I think I'm a bad person. My sister is the only person who knows about us. She told me if it feels good and nobody's getting hurt, we should be able to do what we want. The other day when Charlie was hurting, I was too busy thinking about Allison to notice. Sometimes I think I'm going to tell a guidance counselor about the things I've seen, then he beams at me when I meet him by his locker at school, and I forget all about talking to someone because he looks so happy. Where would he go, if not home? Back to conversion therapy? A group home? This is better. If I had two parents, I wouldn't want to go anywhere else, even if they hit me.

His breath is warm on my neck as he shifts on top of me. I reach around him to open the drawer in my nightstand and shuffle inside to find lube. Once found, I lubricate my fingers, then part him with my free hand. When I thrust two fingers inside him, he doesn't make a single sound. His arms are around my neck and his eyelashes tickle my shoulder as he shoves his face against my skin. I push my fingers deeper and deeper until he inhales sharply at the sensation. I don't know why he isn't reacting in the ways he usually does, which is more vocal than he is being now.

I pull my fingers out and thrust into him in one fluid movement.

He says my name all quiet, in a way that I can hardly hear him. "Lucas."

"You like that, don't you?" I'm sweating profusely from the effort of thrusting into him.

He's quiet but I can feel him nod into my shoulder. I like the feeling of him loosening around my cock as I move, as well as the way his legs tighten around my waist. I just wish he'd make a little more noise today.

I go fast, hard; I want to cum. We're both sticking to one another with sweat, the insides of his thighs stuck to the sides of mine. I start to move slower because I know he likes that. I can feel the inside of his legs tremble.

Things were different when I was with Kylie. It was harder for me to be with her than it is for me to be with Charlie. She was difficult to please, even when I bought her flowers or on valentine's day when I took her out for dinner and then got her this twenty-dollar box of chocolates. During sex, I couldn't always figure her out. I often felt emasculated because of my failure to make her orgasm and because she had no problems pointing out my flaws.

With Charlie, it's easier. We get along well. I don't worry that I'm going to make one mistake and that he will make fun of me in a malicious way. He doesn't make me question my masculinity. I can make him finish with no problem and I know my way around his body in a way I never did with Kylie.