FOREVER, peter parker

05. the good, the bad, and the ugly

"I became Spider-Man after Ben passed away because I know deep down I could've saved him, but I was too late." Peter sighed, his grip tightening slightly on Briar's hand as his body tensed. "I went on patrols every night just to make sure there weren't ever any potential threats to the safety of you and May—and even Ned and MJ—it felt like my responsibility. And in the end, when the time came and your lives were threatened, I failed. After that, I didn't even want to get near the suit. I have two, one is in the back of my closet and the other, the one I was wearing on that day is kept at Tony and Pep's house."

Peter's attempt at reassuring Briar provided her with little to no comfort, not only was he alone during the Blip, but he was also battling with depression, grief, and a whole identity crisis. Briar would always be the first to say Peter Parker deserved the world, and he did. In fact, he deserved the entire universe, the whole galaxy. But after every battle that has been thrown at him, did the world really deserve him?

Definitely not.

Peter poked her arm with his outstretched finger, effectively snapping Briar out of her racing thoughts. His face wasn't solemn or regretful, but at peace with his choice. Content. "Hey, don't get all quiet on me. You should be stoked, May was when I told her! And you weren't so thrilled about me being Spider-Man when you first found out, right?" he paused and waited for Briar to shrug and nod sheepishly, "This is what you've always wished I'd do, and now I have—on my own terms, in some way."

It was true. Peter had chosen quite possibly the worst, most terrible moment to reveal his alter ego to Briar. To be fair, he originally had a different idea. He had it all planned out and he definitely hadn't planned to tell her at the time or in the way he did, but duty calls.

━━
( 7 YEARS AGO ━ SEPTEMBER 24th, 2016 )

"You lied to me." Briar spoke up after Peter carefully entered his bedroom through the window in his torn up sweatsuit. Peter felt his entire body freeze, panic rapidly seeping into his veins and curling around his heart like thorn vine. It was way past midnight, and Briar was currently sitting frustratedly on the edge of Peter's bed. Tonight—homecoming night—was supposed to be fun, a night to remember fondly. Instead, Briar was sitting uncomfortably on Peter's bed, still in her light pink homecoming dress.

Peter had betrayed her trust, and telling by his shocked and regretful expression, every battle lost and every defeat Peter had before this moment amounted to nothing compared to this. If there was anything that Briar valued most in their relationship, it was trust. Peter knew this. Despite everything, the fact that Peter felt like he couldn't be honest and communicate with Briar was what hurt the most. The fact that he'd lied to her on multiple occasions made it feel hard for Briar to breathe.

Peter was staring at her anxiously with shaking hands as he clutched onto his mask, his fists clenching and turning his knuckles pale and white under the tarnished homemade sweatsuit that adorned his body. His lip quivered as she averted her gaze and tried to remain stoic. It wasn't working too well though, considering Peter could clearly make out the disappointment in her eyes. She had stopped crying slightly, but her eyes still shone with betrayal and pain, a look Peter would never be able to forget.

He caused that pain.

"I promise I can explain." Peter assured, remaining in his place. Briar tilted her head and scoffed bitterly. "I was planning on telling you.. or something, eventually, I swear!"