Never Surrender [ Snape x Lupin ]

Chapter Twenty Five

Remus took a moment to answer, which was carved on Sirius' memory as an indicator he knew what the question was all about.

"She's not entirely my type, I guess. But she is so nice to be around and her hair smells like camomille. And I mean, she is so smart, her essays are impressive" Remus said in a dismissive way at first, but also remembering why he was having dinner with her

"As long as you're happy that's all that matters," Sirius said with a smile in the corner of his mouth while giving his friend a little tap on the shoulder. Remus was too sweet to exist, this girl also had the most beautiful proportions of the Hufflepuff six-year table on his account, but no, Remus was impressed by her homework.

"I am" Remus said firmly, he wasn't lying at all

Their dynamics at the Greenwald Place weren't too functional at first. They were two broken individuals, so Sirius and Remus tried to help each other in the way they could. Sirius was still very underweight for his height, and he sometimes would snap and dwell in some light delusions. Remus was concerned about it, but spending this long in such a horrible place certainly would contribute to anyone finding refuge in his own mind. Sometimes Sirius had a hard time distinguishing between a conversation they had or a dream. Or even a conversation he had with his imaginary Remus in his mind. Lupin didn't have the slightest idea how to treat this or if it even had a treatment. But he noticed those gaps of his lucid consciousness were easily broken by making Sirius do a simple chore or talking to him. Black wanted to be back to reality, maybe his imagination simply had too much muscle memory due to isolation.

Sirius would be awfully embarrassed when caught speaking to himself or others in his internal conversations. He had always been a little odd, a little disruptive in his attitude, but he never showed any predisposition to mental illness. Not like Lupin, who everybody knew that if he let his guard down, he'd probably deal with depression at some point.

One day, close to noon, Remus was trying to find Sirius to let him know lunch was ready. Remus was so distracted by his own thoughts about what to cook next that he didn't hear Sirius muttering things from inside his bedroom. The werewolf simply entered and soon after seeing his friend and understanding the situation, approached him apologetically.

"Hey, hey, it's ok, it's ok... I'm here, talk to me instead" Remus said while walking slowly toward Sirius. He had caught him gesticulating with his hand and mumbling something that could make perfect sense if there was indeed another person there with him

"You must think I'm a lost cause by now," Sirius said looking down and accepting the invitation to stand with Remus by the window to catch some air

"By now? How about that time you volunteered to drink my potion after the time was up in class, although you knew I got it all wrong? I mean, you never stood a chance after that" Remus mused smiling ever so slightly with the memory

"The things we do for friends, right? And you should be thanking me! You didn't repeat the subject because I managed to throw up only five minutes later"

"Never thought I'd be so grateful for having a friend that made all the trashcans in Hogsmead fear for their lives" Remus teased, Sirius had indeed a very resistant stomach

"You are so full of filth, Remus, you know it was only the candy shop's trash!"

This was the good thing about Sirius, he was always eager to turn the switch, to recenter himself. He was restless into trying to have a good time and enjoying every little thing he had back in his life. Remus admired that deeply on him, had he been the one in Azkaban, he'd probably never get out as himself. The Dementors would corrupt his soul probably in the first month or two. But not Sirius Black, it would maybe take another thirteen years to dilute his essence into something manageable inside that foul place.