The Outsiders Imagines

Lonely- Soda

Writing this cause I feel so alone rn

This whole chapter is just a rant

Also you and Soda are just friends

Possible TW? Not edited

Do you know what its like to feel so alone. Like its physically hurting me right now. I feel like I'm suffocating.

Im not physically alone and I have many support systems, so why do I feel so alone?

I have friends. I have parents, But it still hurts tremendously.

I let out another silent sob, trying not to wake up Soda. Ya, I'm spending the night at the Curtis house.

I grab my notebook and write it down.

You call yourself family, but yet you always pushed me away. You taught me how to live without you. Don't get mad now that I'm doing it.

I blame you. You, for teaching me what it feels like to be the odd one out, the black sheep.

You've made me look like the bad guy. Good job, you're successful because everyone is jealous of me now.

Jealous of all I have and get. I didn't ask for this. It has a price. I pay that price everyday. A price im not willing to pay.

Sure I get stuff, but it comes with a deep burning loneliness, jealousy, isolation. It hurts me in the long end.

Why are you jealous of something that hurts so bad?

Im jealous of you. You get treated golden. You may not get all the stuff, but you get compliments, and not just basic. You get real, thoughtful compliments.

I get a 'you look nice' once in a red moon. If im the definition of 'getting treated like gold' then you can have it.

You can have all the money that gets thrown at me. The money that tries to buy my love.

You think I want it? I don't want it handed to me. I'm old enough to work for it. In fact I do. So take the money.

Its so bad that I've gotten to the point where if you asked to switch lives, I'd say no.

Not cause I want the loneliness or the materials that come with it, I wouldn't trade lives because if I hadn't gone through this, I'd be just like you.