Love Fatefully

Sofia

"Lead us not unto temptation but deliver us from evil. Amen."

Knock...knock...knock...

"Sister Sofia? May I come in?" I heard a soft voice from the other side of the door.

I sighed and stood up from my kneeling position and went to the door to see who it is.

When I open the door I saw Reverend Mother Frances smiling at me. "Hello dear! How are you, Sister Sofia?"

Ever since I came to The Dominican Sisters of Hope I always feel the peace and serenity that I always longed for, but now, I feel uneasy. It started last night and I feel like something is not right.

"Everything is wonderful Reverend Mother." I smiled back at her not showing the turmoil that I'm feeling inside my gut. "I just finished my morning prayer and now I'm ready for my daily chore," I added.

"Oh dear, you can do that later. We received a call from your Aunt Nina and she mentioned that she must speak to you urgently." That feeling of uneasiness grows more. Reverend Mother never looks at me like that. She always has that calming personality that makes you feel very safe with her.

"May I know why my Aunt called? I don't usually receive any calls from my family every day."

Since the day I entered the convent I have had rules and regulations that need to be strictly followed and one of them is to lessen my communication with the outside world including my family which means I only get to call them when necessary. We are not as strict as the cloistered Nuns but our order has strict rules as well that we follow.

Reverend Mother look at me with warmth and took my hand and patted it softly. "It's better that you speak to your Aunt my dear. Come, I'll walk you through the office." I nod my head slightly and smiled. Reverend Mother is one of the oldest in the convent. She reminds me of my grandmama, so sweet and very caring. Maybe because they were very close friends too.

As we walked along the corridor towards the main office I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. I feel like the quietness of the place makes me feel worse.

As we enter the office, she directs me to a table where the telephone is placed. "You may call her now my dear." She touches my hand again and said. "I will take my leave now. If you need anything we are just here for you."

"Thank you, Reverend Mother." I smiled appreciatively then she left.

I sat down on the chair and took my small notebook where I saved all the contact details of the people who are important to me which only consist of my grandmama, her daughter which is my mom's younger sister Aunt Nina and my niece Bella who is now turning twelve.

I dialed my Aunt's number and she answered it in a single ring. I guess this is a very urgent matter. I pray it's not a critical situation.

"Sofie! How are you? It's been a long time!" I can hear my Aunt's voice on the other line, though she speaks lively I can still hear a little quiver in her voice.

"Aunt Nina, I'm good. You know, we just spoke two weeks ago. How are you and everyone there? How is Bella? Is she growing so fast?" I chuckle slightly.

"Oh, she's fine. She is very excited about her upcoming birthday. She keeps nagging me to invite everyone at her school and that we should buy a new dress for the celebration." Aunt Nina said exasperatedly.

"Just buy her a dress, Aunt Nina. But for the guest, I guess you can invite her classmates and teacher only." I said with a small laugh. I know my Aunt, she will give in eventually. She loves her daughter dearly that she won't be able to say no. She spoiled her a lot which I know is not right. It wasn't like that before but when my Uncle died she's always desperate to make her daughter happy. Is it because of me? I wasn't a rebel per se but I did some things before that were out of my morale and I feel like I needed God to heal me again.

"Yes, you're right." Aunt Nina sighed on the other line which snaps me from my daydream. "Anyway, Sofie that's not the reason why I wanted to speak to you." She sounds nervous.

"Aunt Nina, what's wrong?" I asked worriedly.

"It's mom."

"What? What happened to grandmama? Is she alright? Did something happen to her? Where is she now?"

"Sofie please calm down. Mom slipped in the bathroom but she is fine now. She's in the hospital. She hurt her hipbone but nothing serious. You know that she's old now and she's a little weak." She said reassuringly as if she knows I'm starting to hyperventilate any second which I am trying to prevent from happening.

"Are you sure she's fine? I always get worried about her health." Grandmama, Aunt Nina, and Bella are the only family that I got now. After my parents died I always fear that I might lose them that easily too. I know God will protect them and anything he does has its purpose but sometimes that fear of the unknown creeps back inside of me when it comes to my family it's different.

"Don't worry too much Sofie. She will be fine. The doctors are doing everything to make her feel better. I'm just a little concerned with her actions lately. She's been saying a woman's name."

"A woman's name?" I asked curiously.

"Yes, uhmm Ana I think, Ana...Analisa. Yes, that's her name. It started a week ago that she keeps saying that Analisa is visiting her at night. That she's her long-time friend and that Analisa was asking her about their promise to each other."

"Oh! So is this Analisa still alive or something? Is grandmama hallucinating now?" I know she's starting to forget things. She's 87 years old now and she is getting weaker and weaker each day. I'm worried that her old age made her hallucinate and see things that aren't there.

"I told her that we didn't see any lady coming to our house. That maybe she just assumed that Sandra her caregiver is Analisa who keeps on checking her from time to time at night. But she vehemently disagreed with me. She even got mad at me because I didn't believe her. And she keeps telling me to call you because you would believe her."

From Aunt Nina's voice, I could feel that she's already worn out with the situation. Since she's the only one who's handling the two restaurants owned by the family for almost eight years now I know she's exhausted. And to add to that grandmama is staying at her home. I don't think she still has any time for herself anymore. Sometimes I feel so guilty that I left them and went to the convent to become a Catholic sister.

"Maybe I could ask our congregation for a few days of visit with the family." I suggested though I'm not sure if I'll be allowed to leave.

"Are you sure? Are you allowed to leave?" I could hear my Aunt's lively voice on the other line.

I chuckled. I know she's been wanting me to leave the congregation and come back to them. She's God-fearing and faithful to God but she always believes that I don't need to be a Sister to serve God and there are other ways to be closer to him. "I will try. No, I have to try. Maybe it will help grandmama's situation if she sees me too."

"Then I will leave you to it. I hope we can be able to see you, Sofia. It's been a long time. We miss you so dearly." Aunt Nina said lovingly.

"I hope so too, Aunt Nina. I miss you all. Please send my love to grandmama and Bella. I love you." I said and slowly put down the phone.

Now, I have to ask Reverend Mother for her permission. I hope she will allow me.