pay you with love ♡ malum (discontinued)

27 ➵ one week later

As soon as we sat down on the couch Calum scrunched up his nose.

"Have you been here while I was away?" he asked and I nodded as I took a bite from my sprinkled chocolate donut. 

"Why?" I asked while chewing.

"It smells like smoke."

I swallowed what was in my mouth and looked at him with an apologizing look. 

"I'm so sorry, baby. I wasn't thinking, fuck. I know you hate the smell, I'm sorry."

"But why? Why have you been smoking again? And why were you even here?" 

I sighed, "I was stressed, so stressed and worried. Worried about you and I almost lost my mind. You know, smoking is relieving to me and I'm sorry. I wanted to stop, you know that but I couldn't help it. I won't do it again when you're around. I was here because I missed you. I liked sleeping in your bed because it smells like you," I explained.

Calum smiled a little and placed his hand on my neck, then kissed me softly, letting his lips linger a few seconds on mine.

"It's fine. You don't have to stop for me, I don't want to control what you do. I guess I just have to get used to the smell and smoking can look hot," he said and I smirked a little. "But lung cancer isn't hot though, so please don't smoke like three packs a day."

"Oh god, I don't even smoke one pack. Don't worry baby, I'll be fine."

He nodded and turned on the TV, seeing that How I Met Your Mother was on. It was one of his favorite TV shows next to Glee. Before I've met Calum I have never watched any of these shows but I had to say, How I Met Your Mother was pretty amazing. I still hadn't watched Glee but honestly, I didn't want to. It looked horrible to me.

We ate the donuts together and just cuddled a little until Calum suddenly got up and stumbled a little.

"Are you okay? What are you doing?" I asked with furrowed eyebrows. Calum didn't answer though and quickly walked out of the room. I followed him and saw that he went to the bathroom. Just a few seconds later I heard him throwing up again, something he did a lot the past few days. 

I walked in after I heard the toilet flush and saw Calum sitting with his back against the wall.

"I don't know why but I think my body hates food," he mumbled as he stared at his lap, playing with his fingers.

I sat down next to him, "You've been throwing up a lot lately, maybe you have food poisoning? Did you eat something bad?" I asked.

"The hospital food wasn't very good."

"Do you have medicine for stomach aches?" I asked and he nodded.

"Yeah, it has to be somewhere in the kitchen."

"Then brush your teeth and I'll get it for you."

Calum mumbled a small 'thank you' and we both got up. I walked to the kitchen and looked through the drawers until I found the medicine I was looking for. Calum joined me and took the medicine. 

We then got back on the couch and watched TV again, Calum almost fell asleep on my lap. We decided to go to bed then, he changed into lilac pyjama pants and one of my Green Day shirts while I just stripped down to my boxers.

Calum fell asleep very quickly after we laid down while I wasn't tired at all. I unwrapped my arms from him and grabbed my phone, seeing I had a few messages. Most of them were from Ashton.

[from: dick]

hows the puppy

[to: dick]

what drugs are you on i dont have a puppy

[from: dick]

i meant calum bc hes a puppy tbh

I smiled a little at this, realizing that Ashton was right but I smiled more because of the fact that Calum and him got along so well. 

[to: dick]

hes out of the hospital now but apparently hes been having bad nightmares and thats why im staying with him. he seems okay at the moment but he really isnt 

[from: dick]

aw man sry he rlly didnt deserve that tell him i hope he feels better when he wakes up! i gotta sleep now bye

I texted him a quick 'good night' and put away my phone again, wrapping my arms around Calum's waist like I had done before. 

When I finally felt tired and my eyes closed, Calum suddenly started to shake and mumble small things. I hugged him tighter but it didn't help, he started to cry and his voice got louder. 

I tried to get him to wake up which didn't work at all. It took some time until he finally opened his eyes.

"M-Michael, d-don't leave me," he said in between sobs, gripping my shirt tightly and crying into my chest. "Please, please, please. I'm s-so scared, I don't w-want to be alone."

"Calm down, princess. I would never leave you, I'm always here for you, I promise. Hey, don't cry. It was just a dream." 

"H-He's following me everywhere, I d-don't know what to do."

"Shh baby, no one is following you. You're safe here. I will hold you close, no one is going to get near you. I promise, I'll protect you from everything," I whispered, placing a kiss to his hair.

"B-But, h-he's always there. I c-can't sleep anymore, h-he's everywhere. I'm s-so scared Michael."

"You don't have to be, I'm here for you."

It was silent for a while, the only thing that was heard were Calum's small sobs which broke my heart. I held him so tight, his face hidden in the crook of my neck.

"I love you, Calum and I promise you that no one will ever hurt you again. Please believe me, it's going to be okay," I whispered and I could feel him relax in my arms. He was still crying but not as much as before and a few minutes later he was asleep, I could feel his calm breathing on my neck.

I really thought his nightmares would go away since he didn't have them for three days after this night but they came back, even worse and I didn't know how longer I could take staying awake day and night, protecting Calum with everything I had. 

I tried my best to help, to calm him down, to be with him as much as I could.

I was exhausted.

But, I couldn't risk that Calum was alone, I couldn't risk him being hurt again.

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Just for the record: Calum won't be okay for a long time. Being raped marks you for your whole life, so there will always be sad parts in this story, no matter how happy it will be. Just a small reminder because in some fanfics the victim gets over rape after two days but we all know, that doesn't happen. I want this story to be at least a little realistic.

So, how did you like it?

I'm very excited for the next chapter! :D

୨୧ See you next chapter! ୨୧