I Liked You As Soon As I Hated You (Yejisu)

Chapter 43

"Actually I did not imagine I would come this far.. My earliest memory as a child was me wanting to become a fashion designer when I grew up and now.. I bet younger Jisu would be so disappointed to find out that future Jisu is gay and is on a balcony just thinking about different possibilities of my life being .. perfect." 

The younger girl smiles and laughs at that, it was one bittersweet thought from Jisu. 

"Well.. Who knows, maybe younger Jisu's happy that she's still pretty in the future." Chaeryeong lightened the mood and it seemed to work. 

Jisu smiled widely at that compliment, sighing as she rested her chin down on her knees, looking straight into the city. Staring at the tall buildings with its shiny and sparkly lights. 

"... Maybe younger Jisu does.. Maybe she doesn't, I'll let younger Jisu decide on that." 

Chaeryeong softly hums, silently agreeing to what Jisu said before copying the same position that Jisu was sitting in. 

"Any other plans in life after this cold night, Jisu unnie?" 

Jisu cleared her throat, blinking before responding, "To be honest.. I just want to rest the whole day tomorrow. I know I've been doing that for the past few days.. but it's just the only thing I can think of doing for now." 

Jisu knew she sounded pathetic for feeling like this and wanting to just rest for the next few days. 

Chaeryeong doesn't mind that though, she believes that anyone can do whatever they want in a day, no need for someone's approval nor permission. 

"If you do that, it's fine. I'll still visit though." Chaeryeong softly smiles to herself as Jisu nods her head with a small smile. 

Just for a moment, she felt a small wave of happiness wash over her as Chaeryeong said those words to her. The younger girl really made her feel like everything’s alright, she knows she isn’t supposed to feel relieved just yet, but right now she feels relaxed. 

Jisu is thankful. 

For her friends and for everyone who were still there beside her, though, she does feel a bit guilty because they all had to deal with Jisu’s problems as well. She didn’t mean to drag them into all the problems in her life but .. she just wasn’t thinking properly when everything bad occurred so quickly. 

Barging into her life like a ton of huge rocks thrown at her door. 

It wasn’t the best feeling and she’s realizing all of her mistakes now. 

“You know.. Ryeong..” She muttered as she pulled the blanket even closer to herself. Chaeryeong hums, signalling for Jisu to continue talking. 

“I hate the concept of … only realizing a lot of things after everything is done. There were so many opportunities in the middle of the events in my life where I could’ve just stopped for a second and said I shouldn’t do something that will make me regret everything in the end.” 

Jisu stops for a moment as she looks down at her feet. There was nothing there, she was just collecting her thoughts while staring at something random.

The younger girl beside her slowly turned her head and looked at her with an expression that is a mix of anticipation and curiosity. It’s not the first time that she has heard Jisu say something similar. 

But, whenever Chaeryeong does hear Jisu say something like this, it makes her feel sad and kind of proud. 

Sad because she could feel all of Jisu’s emotions with just those words, they may sound plain and boring for some, but to someone like Chaeryeong who has witnessed almost everything in Jisu’s life, it makes her sad.