Fullest Heart

Never Too Late

Thinking about how kind and selfless he was for her made her think about last night. They had just spent one night of passion, a perfect goodbye as she said to him, but something inside her was tingling with some kind of weird feelings she hadn't had in a while. The way they looked at each other's eyes, the way they held each other, the way they kissed one another. It was all familiar, but it was something she hadn't seen or felt in such a long time.

Was it love?

Was he still in love with her?

And more importantly, were these feelings mutual?

Memories of last night played in her head like a movie, catching her off guard.

"So, if you think I don't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong!" She paused for a moment, letting her words sink in. "It's because you mean more to me!" She yelled at him and jabbed her finger against his chest, feeling extremely upset at him for ever doubting her feelings.

She said it herself. He meant more to her.

But how far did he mean in her life? Was he just her best friend who she shared her daughter with?

No, of course not. He was more than a best friend to her. But again, was he more than that? Was she still in love with him? She asked that question to herself.

Unfortunately, before she could even figure it out, an announcement was made. The plane was taking off.

She was too late.

.......

Ross came back home into his apartment, defeated. He had done his best to chase her down the airport, but he was too late. Her plane already took off by the time he arrived at the right airport.

So much for a deadly ride to the airport on Phoebe's taxi, he thought.

Maybe it was for the best? Maybe Joey was right? Maybe this was time for him to move on?

But the thing was, this was Rachel. He'd be forever related to her through their daughter, so was moving on from her a possible task?

He doubted that.

But again, what if he confessed his feelings to her? Would she reciprocate it?

He didn't know that either.

He was so confused, so upset, and so emotionally drained right now.

He plopped himself on the brown leather couch, taking his time to observe his surroundings. Looking through his living room, he could easily spot Emma's stuff lying around the room. Her toys, her tiny socks, her pacifier. All of those only reminded him of what he probably just lost. A chance of having a family.

A family that he always dreamed of since he was fifteen. A family that he could have if only he wasn't being so stupid all of these years.

Why didn't he tell her sooner about his feelings? Why was he so afraid to let his guard down and tell her how he truly felt? Why was he so stupid?

Never in his life had he felt this alone before.

As he took one of the pictures sitting on the desk, he observed it closely and smiled when he remembered the day that picture was taken. It was the day when he and Rachel took Emma to the playground. Rachel was so scared of the swings, but in the end, he helped her overcome her own fear. She had no idea how proud he was that day.

Having to spend the entire day only with the three of them was so special. For once he let himself believe that they were a family, not just two best friends who shared a daughter together, but a real family. It was a beautiful picture, he had to admit and now it made him miss them more than ever.