Hush, Little Penguin

Beach Baby

Somehow that made him feel worse.

"Why do I always have to look like a baby?" He had asked one day while the captain was picking out his clothes. Barnacles had looked at him with surprise. "What do you mean? I thought you liked these clothes."

Peso hiccupped in personal shame once more. "I do, but..." Barnacles hugged him. "I know it feels scary Peso. You should be able to wear what you want without fear. It shouldn't be scary. But I know it is for you, and I'm sorry that this is all we could find that fit you and your diaper." Peso didn't say a single word for the rest of the day. It had been quite a blow for the poor thing.

But he had pulled through. Above all, the most change that needed to be made surrounded his movement. 

IN the hospital, he was wheeled around in a wheelchair or pushcart. When brought back to the Octopod, he was carried until he could finally walk again. But in the beginning, Peso had never been the greatest at physical feats, and couldn't even properly belly slide like all his peers. So moving normally was out of the question, which made work in the sick bay slow sometimes.

And it made swimming immensely difficult.

The diapers were supposed to be water-tight, but the Octonauts still didn't think it was a good idea for them to get wet, which had led to the latest blow on Peso's social abilities; plastic pants.

The blue, noisy garments hugged his diapers and made him feel even more snug and somehow, even more trapped than usual. He was used to them now, and he kind of like the little fish on them. But still, where would it ever end?

Sure enough, his diaper stayed dry. But it was the biggest change of all in Peso's life, and followed him everywhere.

So a day off was decided.

"Captain?" Peso looked out the window of the Gup A, watching as all the other Gups followed behind them. "Where are we going?"

"We're going to the beach, silly." Barnacles chuckled, smiling brightly. "I thought we could all use a day off."

"A day off?" Peso knew from they way that Barnacles had been acting lately that 'We all' meant mostly him, Peso. And he didn't have time for this. He needed to be working. In order to lessen some of the shame, Peso did all he could to make himself useful and stayed in the sick bay most of the time, waiting for or looking after patients. It made the Octonauts sad to know that Peso felt like he had to work so hard to be seen as more than a crybaby. They hated how much he tried to prove he was an adult, like he could never enjoy his childhood, or himself or even life. Barnacles knew a day off wouldn't be much, but he hoped it would be a step, at least a BABY step toward Peso's self-recovery.

"Peso." Barnacles put a paw on his head. "I don't want you camping out in the sick bay all the time. You don't have to work so hard."

"But-"

"We know you're so much more than the crybaby you were forced to be when you were younger." Barnacles stroked Peso's feathers and tried not to feel mad, the way he did whenever he thought about Peso's traumatized childhood. "You are so much more than what you were made out to be, but you're also still a child. A strong, smart, special child, but still a child, and you shouldn't have to work so hard to prove you're an adult. We know you're Peso, and if you still need time to grow up, however much time, we're willing to see you through." Barnacles knew every child needed a guide through life, even after they reached adulthood sometimes. Most times, really. And it formed a hole in his heart to know that Peso didn't want the thing he'd never had and so desperately needed. Peso didn't want a guide, having grown to hate the world around him.