My day at hospital with caillou

chapter 1

Chapter 1

Walking down the street to the school I see the bus that hit my dad. Number 47...the number that ruined it all for me.Then I got hit by the same bus. When I woke up, there was this super sexy nurse touching some beepy machine.

Hi im Caillou

He stroked my bald head as I did the same to him. Turns out he has cancer, I'm just lazy and don't like my red hair so I got rid of it. I saw Ronald walk in with my mom, fucking whore I said to myself knowing that its her third boyfriend this week. When my dad first died my mom said hot girl summer, it's been 7 years.

I have a feeling that the man that was hit by a bus is in fact not my father. You see, my father was tall with dark hair and dark eyes and long toes. My mother literally looks just like him but with gargantuan boobalas. I however have redness on my head. I kinda look like the red guy that's british. Ed Sheeran

I decide to look down at myself while laying in the stretcher and see Caillou wiggling my toes and sniffs them? I dont know whats wrong with this guy but he is sexy so it cancels out I guess. I watch as he writes down on his papers and am wondering what else could this fine man do with those hands besides wiggle some toes and write. I get snapped into reality as I'm pelted with a mcnugget from Ronald, damn those things hurt. We finally arrive at the hospital, 12 hard mcnuggets and a mc chicken later but we have made it.

By the time the hospital people get me checked in and situated, I already want to go home. Some rando got his right nipple blown off by a firework so the sexy nurse had to leave me. I am sad now. Some grandpa that smelled like prunes came in to check on me next. He claims he's a nurse. I claim he belongs 6 feet under. He's literally ancient. He gave me some weird ass drug that makes me see mushrooms growing out of his nose. Then I snooze. I then wake up to a loud CRASH. It's Caillou!!! He came back!!! Nee How is what he said to me. I was so happy to see that he returned to me. Take that Singular-Nipple Dude!

As He approached me I barfed. He thought it was disgusting but I thought it was hot. The steamy liquid was all I could smell as I smirked and winked at Caillou. He gave the weirdest look but honestly it was attractive. I saw him grab the towels and come back but then he disappeared. He fell. Thump is all that could be heard so I start laughing and he pelts me with the towels and tells me to clean it up myself with a grin on his face. I blush as I make eye contact while picking up wet towels off myself. He decides to take the trash can and hit me with it because in his terms It WiLl KnOcK mE iNtO rEaLiTy but I take it as an excuse to knock me up in a different way to show his love.

Come here my sweet daddy caillou i lift my leg high into the air. The old nurse put me in this assless dress that feels like a pillow case. As i lift my leg in the air, my secret is revealed...I am a true red head. Caillou did not know this, he thought I was also cancer like him. But i never shaved my crotch region. Daddy caillou looks concerned. Your parents are not red like you...quick, I need your DNA to discover who is your true father. so i let him scoop up my remaining vomit to test. Turns out, I have potato running through my blood...ed sheeran. Then who is the man that was hit by bus number 47???? Caillou said we have to find a way to steal the DNA from that man...to the grave we go!

As I make my way to the grave in my vomit covered dress knowing that daddy caillou could see my dumpy in the back I step in something. Caillou licked it to find out what it was Dog shit he said. It was like he did it before so I gazed at him because it meant he had experience. That is something that I do in my free time without anyone knowing. I can even pick out breeds. My wide eyes that made me look like mort from madagascar saw the tomb in the distance. This wa- I yell as a bird attacks me mid scream. I threw the bird at a stone knocking him out, thank god, and went on my journey down this yellowish brick type road.

I started skipping. I love to skip. Makes me feel like a pony of some sort. I dont know breeds. Caillou grasped onto my hand and skipped with me, his hand was literally dripping in what i hope is urine. He then started to sing a little song, dog goes woof, cat goes meow How did he know thats my favrite song? I like the fox because he is red like my puebes. As we travel for about a solid 32 minutes, I realize that I am so dying from sweat. I sit down on some tree stump, until a giant furry thing appears. In instinct, i scream out cha cha cha cha cha cha chow thinking it is a fox. It is not a fox, it is in fact the scariest looking lion thing ive ever seen. He claims hes in some old movie but I dont believe him. Theres no way hes any more famous than my lover caillou. Then the worst thing that could possibly happen occurred. The freakish lion beast thing took a bite of caillous pressure member. He is now circumcised.

Now that I know that I'm the top in this relationship that we have goin on it made me feel stronger. Knowing that I have to take care of a cancerized peenaless man I need to step in charge. I twist the nips of the lion and I neuter that freakish beast with my own two hands. Leaving him behind we were on our way and we skipped once again but now with dignity and a trail of penal blood to go with it. I start to hear something in the bush in the field. This scarecrow looking for some type of brain popped out so I tossed a match on him as his straw went up in flames so we didn't have to go through the same thing again. Then me and daddy Caillou set back on our quest.

All of a sudden I heard this god awful noise. It was as if a cat was being raped and birthing at the same time. Then I see this lump of junk metal laying in a heap in the middle of the path. The next thing I did was i punted that bih so far out so my bb caillou could walk without getting tetanus. The pile of metal that i just kicked then popped up off the ground and started talking to me. He was saying some shit about a heart? I dont fucking know man. He kept trying to get a grasp on my absolute dump truck of an ass, so I sharted to keep him away. However, my liquid feces just lubricated his joints. He didnt squeak like a mouse going in heat anymore. I then told him that since I helped him he has to stay out of my ass. I then felt a force wedge its way into my hole. I TOLD YOU TO STAY OUT OF MY ASS but when I turned around, the man of metal was gone. I was so confused until Caillou remembered what he learned in beauty school...the magic school bus went into my sweet sweet ass.

As we stray further to make our way to the tomb we heard a cackle. One that sounded like my old teacher when she coughed. Turns out she had a collapsed lung and died but not my problem anymore. Then the audacity of this bitch to smoke bomb herself in front of us like as if. You my pretty haven't seen a girl with her little dog have you? she said for the town to hear. No you dumb slut. Get you and your green ass face out of here. Hottie Caillou said. No. She said. I decided to take the best route. My squirt. It went all up in and on her as she got smaller in size to the little gremlin that she was. I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you and your little doc daddy too. she screamed like the first time I got my back blown out. There it was the tomb.

With my long ET finger, i wedged open the top of the tomb. It smelled like rotten cabbage and monkey ass. The corpse was almost like one of those skeletons that I saw in the corner of my schools classroom, but this mans toes were much longer. It was like he had flippers. I stroked the hair that remained on the body, and then handed a few strands to my brilliant lover caillou. Then i snuck a few in my pocket for my pleasure. Caillou was so excited to do the tests on the DNA, so we bonked our bald heads and whispered theres no place like home. We were then back home so he could do the tests. While caillou did boring ass stupid ass smelly ass science, I pulled up the adult website that I use as research for lesbian relationships. I feel like i need more knowledge on the subject. I then pulled out the strands of the mans hair, and rolled them between my ET finger and my thumb. I stuck my tongue out and sucked on the strands. Wow. It tastes like mold. Caillou came sprinting into the room, holding up the results from the test. I cant believe what they said. The man who was supposed to be my father, turned out to be my mothers brother all along...Justin bieber.