DEFENCE // LARRY STYLINSON // LOUIS TOMLINSON

24.

Dinner plans were coming to a head and Louis needed to duck out to the store to gather a few extra supplies. I had opted for the babysitting duty and was happy to watch over the three kids whilst we was out.

The girls were all in the twins room playing with the dolls and I was clearing off the dining table so we could all sit together.

There were a few papers lying around, I just gathered them together and brought them over to the shelf by the buffet. Looks to be a whole bunch of bills and paperwork.

"Shit" I gasp as I let a bunch slip from my hands as they scatter on the floor.

"What does shit mean daddy?" Her little voice catches me off guard.

"Oh Willow honey, sorry daddy said a naughty word he didn't mean it. Are you okay?" I quickly gather the dropped items.

"I really like Hollie and Pip" she admits with a warming smile on her face.

"I'm glad honey. Now run along, go and play"

I gather the rest of the papers and place them onto the shelf, a certain title catching my eye of an opened letter.

I take the envelope into my hands and read the contents.

Mr Tomlinson,
It's with our pleasure to announce your acceptance into Cardiff University on a full scholarship to celebrate your outstanding achievements in your football career.

The word pounded through me.

A mixture of pride and sadness forces itself through me that I can't control it. Feeling emotion is poison. I can't believe I would ever feel this is a good idea.

Louis got in.

He got full scholarship.

For football.

I'm so incredibly proud of him. I always knew he had it in him and his game is outstanding. I always loved playing along side of him. Cardiff approached me after our grand final and offered me a full ride too, saying they were looking at two players. I had a feeling it would be Louis. Of course it would be. How could they not.

I had to decline my offer because of Willow.

But then it hit me. I declined my offer because of Willow. Louis hadn't mentioned this letter to me. The Louis I know would be jumping up and down like an absolute maniac over this offer.

Was Louis declining this offer?

Because of me?

Because of Willow?

I couldn't allow him to do that. I wouldn't.

"Willow, honey time to pack up, we have to go" I call out which is welcomed with groans coming from all of them.

I tuck the letter back in amongst the things I had gathered off the floor and wipe a heartbroken tear from my eye.

I couldn't be the reason Louis loses everything he loves. He deserves so much out of life and I cannot be the reason he doesn't fulfil everything he deserves. I couldn't live with that. I won't.

If I love him, I need to set him free to do this.

I can't hold him back.

The moment Louis walks through the door, I feel the final shatter of my heart. I don't want to walk away from him. I can't even bring myself to say it. I can't even bring myself to look at him.

I feel like I've finally got him. Really got him. And now I have to let him go.

"I got everything, believe me, you haven't even tried spaghetti Bolognese until you've tried -" he pauses once he sees Willow and I standing at the entrance, Willow housing tears in her eyes as she holds tightly onto Hollie and Pip.

"What's going on?" He asks, directing his question to me. An awful amount of heartbreak in his eyes.

I can't bring myself to say anything. I can't tell him I'm going. I can't lie to him. I can't do anything. I just take Willows hand and push myself past him, hopping into my car without saying a word and backing out of the driveway.

I can see Louis standing in the archway on his front door, complete shock of his way. We make eye contact with each other for only a minute, the moon shining down between the two of us making only our eyes visible.

I can't do this.

But I have to.

For him.