The teacher // Miss Paulson

Sam // Chapter 40

Everybody left and you knock on Sam's door and open it. "Hey. Can I come in?" You ask. "Well you already opened the door so." He replies. "I know we haven't talked alot and I get that you're just getting used to everything. That's completely normal-" You say, but Sam cuts you of. "Just leave me alone I don't need you to talk to me." Sam says. "Okay normally I would like totally listen to that and leave, but I can see your not doing okay. I get that you might not want to talk about it with your mom or sister or just anybody, but it's never good to not talk to anyone." You say and Sam sighs. "Parents can be pretty oblivious, can't they? I mean your parents get divorced and all of a sudden your family is not complete anymore. Then one of them finds someone else and you're just supposed to get used to someone new or maybe even a new family. Can you look me in the eyes and tell me that doesn't bother you or that you don't want to rant to someone about it." You say and Sam just looks down. "Steve isn't my real dad so I won't tell him or Christina about any of this if you don't want to." You say and he pats the spot next to him on the bed for you to sit. "Wait steve isn't your dad?" Sam asks. "Nope he isn't, but we're not talking about me rigt now. So spill it. Why didn't you want to come swimming?" You ask him. "It's just weird. I don't even really know Steve or you or Tara or any of these people and now I'm just supposed to act like a happy family. It's not like Steve's not nice to me, but he's just not my dad. Not that my dad still cares about me. He already found a new family just after they were divorced for 2 months. At least mom waited a year. He just acts like the son of his girlfriend is like the perfect son, because he plays sports and has a lot of friends. I'm just the weird emo kid to him." Sam says looking down pointing at his clothes. "You know just because he might be spending a lot of time with the other kid doesn't mean that he doesn't love you. Parents don't always understand their children and we don't always understand our parents. I'm sure your dad loves you and he doesn't think you're weird." You say. "He told me that I should sometimes be more like his girlfriends son and to not be so dramatic." Sam says as he's trying not to cry. "Well then he's wrong, cause you seem like a really nice and cool kid. But sometimes the people we love and who love us, also hurt us the most. That's not fair, but there's nothing you can change about that. You know there's nothing wrong with crying either, right?" You say say nudging him. "Men don't cry." He says imitating who you think is his father. "It's actually pretty strong to cry, because then you're not afraid to show someone that your vulnerable. That's something that I had to learn to when I was younger." You say. "Do you still talk to your dad?" Sam asks with a tear dropping down his face. "I do sometimes yeah, but after he and my mom divorced I didn't see or talk to him for a long time." You say. "Why didn't you see him for a long time?" Sam asks. "He wasn't really a nice man at that time. He used to drink a lot and use drugs, which made him different." You say. "Did he hurt you?" Sam asks. "Yeah he did, sadly he left some scars to remind me everyday of what he did. But I guess you learn to live with things and understand them as you get older." You say. "Aren't you mad at him anymore?" Sam asks. "I used to be, but then one day he suddenly stood in front of me with a new wife and daughter and saw that he had changed. He's a really good father to Zoe and ofcourse that hurt me. Seeing him being a good dad to one kid, but never being kind to me when I was younger. After something bad had happened and I ended up in the hospital I realised that he had always loved me, but he just never showed me when I was younger. It took me a while to forgive him, but eventually I did. And I'll never have a normal father daughter bond with him, but I'm happy where we're at now. So what I'm trying to say is that now it might hurt a lot, but somehow someday it will start to hurt less and less." You say. "Thank you for talking with me." Sam says giving you a hug. "No problem." You say with a genuine smile. "Wanna go and swim now?" You ask him, but he looks down again. "I uhmm.. I." He tries to say it, but just motions to his arm. "That's why you're wearing longer sleeves when it's this hot aren't you?" You question and he just nods. "Does your mom know about this?" You ask him and he replies nodding again. "That's why she lets me wear longer sleeves, because I don't feel comfortable showing everybody what I did." He says and you understand him, because you don't like showing your scars either. "I get it I don't like people seeing my scars either, but you should never be ashamed of them." You say.  You take your shirt of, but you're wearing your bathing suit underneath. "Here. People are going to see one of mine to, so you won't be the only one." You say pointing to your back and then put your shirt back on. "Is it okay if I decide when I'm there?" Sam asks. "Yeah ofcourse and if you don't feel comfortable you don't have to. I'm sure everybody will be happy if you're just there to." You say. 

You both are still talking while walking to the swimming area. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but earlier you said that you ended up in the hospital. What happened then?" Sam asks. "It's okay I can talk about it now." You say and tell him about the school shooting, that you got shot and that you lost your bestfriend that day. "You know you're really nice for being such a tough and strong person." Sam says. "Thank you."You say. You both talked about some more fun things, like which music he listens to and what kind of movies he likes to watch, while walking to the swimming area...

Hey guys I was supposed to put a lot more in this chapter, but you know I like to write long parts when it comes to character development :)) I'll try to write the next one as soon as possible. Hope you guys still liked this chapter tho! <3