"Just Friends."

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Twenty-Nine. 

            “Reina I just think that you need to honestly think about what you’re doing.”

            “And I have thought about it Casey. I’ve thought about it for a week now and after today I’m even more certain that this is what I want to do.”

            Sliding on a pair of jeans, I heard her let out a sigh but I ignored her and rummaged through the dresser drawer to find a sweater. This is just what needs to happen.

            “I don’t really see what you’re getting at Reina. All Justin did was show that he cared about you. Scott acts like he doesn’t give a shit whenever I talk to someone but I wish he did because it’s reassuring to know they don’t want you with anyone else. I think you’re being a bit selfish right now.”

            “I’m not being selfish Casey! It’d be one thing if it only happened once but it’s been happening constantly and I’m so tired of it. Beyond tired.”

            When she was silent I knew she was upset with me and that she had just given up. It’s hard enough to have to put some distance between Justin and I but I just think a little space will do us some good. There’s no denying that I’m in love with him but as far as this whole jealousy thing goes he needs to know that I’m not going to put up with that. It drives me crazy.

            “Casey, don’t be upset with me. I’m not going to end things completely but I need my space because I’m getting distracted with my schoolwork too because of him. This is just nothing like I thought it would be.”

            “Hard work? Yeah Reina, welcome to a relationship.”

            “And I know it’s hard work! We’ve been together for a few months now and it’s been great but I can’t get over the jealousy. I just can’t.”

            “Then maybe you-“

            Knocks on the door interrupted us and Casey gave me a look as if to say, please think about what you’re doing but I was thinking about it and when I opened it to reveal Justin looking better than ever I got short of breath like I always seemed to get by just one single glance. He completely did this on purpose.

            “You wanted to talk?” He asked bitterly.

            His lips looked better than ever and he styled his hair so it was spiked upwards in the front with a leather jacket and a light pair of jeans. He looked so damn good and I just nodded my head, leading him out into the hallway of the dorms so that Casey wouldn’t hear our conversation.

            “Uh, yeah.” I said. “I did.”

            We walked down into the lounge where there were these ugly patterned couches with a television set that got all fuzzy and you had to smack it at times. Thankfully no one was there so I took a seat and watched him plop down beside me, his elbows resting on top of his knees.

            When I pictured this conversation in my head a thousand times I never thought it would be this difficult but staring at him and noticing how scared and vulnerable he looked in this exact moment felt like a knife got pressed through my heart. Justin could make so many girls happy and I know that what I’m doing to him isn’t fair and this is part of the reason why I’m ending things. In time he’s going to find out how annoying I am and how hard I am to put up with and he’s going to leave just like everyone else in my life has. He deserves better than me and he just needs to realize that. I need to let him go before he lets me go.