Reclamation

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Hours of practice, years of dreaming, preparing, and holding on to the hope that someday I would be succeeding. Sitting on the stage, transforming a silent night into an entrancing escape. The audience mesmerized by the practiced motions of my fingers as they prance along polished keys. Looking down at my hands now, all I see are fractured lines and faded scars. Numbness overtakes me as I reflect on my greatest fear come to pass.

The accident. Metal against metal, my body flung forward as glass shattered. A blink of an eye and the world had descended into havoc. That was over a year ago, though. Time passed and with it my body slowly put itself in order again. Now all I have to testify of it are the scars on my hands and the blankness of my mind as I contemplate an empty future.

Why am I even here? Despite the almost painstaking effort I had taken to skirt around any reminders of my loss, I now found myself seated before my greatest pain. The glossy, black grand piano was beautiful beneath the stage lights. The magnificent instrument which had once been my greatest joy, had once encompassed my life day in and day out, now seemed lightyears beyond reach. I wasn't sat upon that bench, hands hovering over the keys in preparation of delivering a powerful melody to enamored spectators. Instead, I was seated amongst those spectators. No more than another member of an awaiting audience.

The lights dimmed. The maestro sat. The piano sang. A strong chord rang out across the hall, followed by a solemn melody. I instantly recognized the work of Ludwig Van Beethoven as the Pathetique Sonata came alive. Tears sprang to my eyes as a piece I had not heard in over a year was masterfully expressed before me. A work of art that even now, after all that had passed, remained one of my favorites. The gathered tears fell, but to my own surprise I felt no sadness. The depression and anguish I was prepared to combat was instead a feeling of relief and rejuvenation. The passion I once held for the piano had not been lost, but simply buried. Hidden underneath loss and defeat, yet still there. Oh, how I missed it. The music I thought would be gone from my life forever, was given back to me like a fresh breath of air after a rainy day.

The crash had taken much from me, but it had left me my life. A life with which I would do so much still. Perhaps I would never sit on that stage as I had always envisioned. Yes, I believe that chapter had closed, but there was still so much more for me. I didn't have to give up my music. Sitting there, entranced in the melodies, I found proof that I could still find joy in the music itself, even if that music came from the hands of another.