Cold Comfort

Chapter 6

You had planned to stay with Emily while she was with the doctors, but Hotch said he needed your help. So you left Emily with the promise that you two would talk later.

When you finished, you climbed onto the jet. Rossi and Emily were the only ones not on board yet so you were waiting for them to arrive and then the plane would take off. You settle in and pull out your book, while everybody else either puts on headphones, settles down for a nap, or gets their own reading material.

You get through the first few pages before you feel the plane starting to pull off. You look up to see Emily standing next to the seat in front of you.

"Hey," she says softly, sitting down across from you.

"Hi," you say as you look back down at your book. She sighs and reaches over to take the book out of your hands forcing you to look up at her again.

"You said we could talk," she says, her voice hopeful.

"I only said that so you would let the doctor check you," you say honestly, and her face falls. "But you're right, we probably should talk."

"I'm sorry I didn't talk to you before I put in my resignation," Emily says.

"Look," you say as you push your book to the side and lean your arms on the table in front of you. "I'm trying to see the good in this but it just feels wrong."

"Us?" Emily asks, her eyebrows furrowed.

"No," you respond quickly, "not us. The fact that you had to choose, and that you chose me." You look down at your hands to avoid Emily's gaze.

"Hey," Emily says as she reaches out and places a finger under your chin, lifting your face back up to look at her. "I would always choose you."

"But you love it at the BAU, you love the team, you love this job." She drops her hand from your face and instead grabs your hand in hers. She looks back up at you and smiles.

"But I love you more, and I have for a while.

"Emily..." you start to say as you try to pull your hand out of hers but her grip tightens and she cuts you off.

"Why are you pushing me away?"

"I'm not," you insist. She caresses the back of your hand with her thumb, and you start to feel guilty.

"Not intentionally, but I can tell," she says. "You keep saying you don't want me to choose you over the job because you think you're not worth it, but you are."

"Are you profiling me?" you question.

"Am I right?" Emily asks. You sigh and pull your hand out of Emily's again, and this time she lets you.

"I just don't want you to wake up one day and regret choosing me," you say with a shrug. "I guess I figured it would hurt less to push you away than it would if you left on your own."

"Is that why you asked me to leave last night?"

"Yeah."

"Oh good," Emily says as she lets out a breath of relief. "I thought I was just a bad kisser. " She laughs, but you just roll your eyes.

"I was trying to be serious, Emily," you say and her laughter dies down.

"I know, I'm sorry," she says as she gets up and moves to the seat next to you. You shift in your seat so the two of you are now face to face.

"Look," she says softly. "I know how I feel about you and I know that nobody has ever made me feel like this before. I promise that I will never regret this because I love you with all of my heart."