Finally where we should be

A Christmas Carol - Part Two

"I need to get a job to pay for therapy... Because I clearly have problems," Rory claimed, walking back and forth nervously in the limited space of her room.

"After the past year, I won't make fun of you about therapy. I just don't want to be shanghaied again to go to a session and discuss mommy issues." Lorelai sat on the bed and watched her daughter.

"Everything you feared happened," Rory exhaled in angst. "I became dad."

The declaration took Lorelai by surprise. "Wait... What?"

"I have no credit. Just like the first time he came here. I've wasted years waiting for the next big thing and eventually just fell back on family money. Remember Trix and grandpa's trust fund? I blew it. Poof. Vanished into thin air. There's zero, zip, zilch, nada left". Rory wiggled her hands dramatically.

"Some of these 250 grand would be handy in the current circumstances. But you need to calm down. I know telling this only makes it worse..."

Rory cut in and continued her nervous speech. "I can't calm down... I didn't even pay back grandpa for Yale. Remember I made the agreement to pay five years after I graduate? Well, when it was time, he told me it wasn't necessary and I could consider it an increment to my trust fund. I just accepted it. I learned nothing from you. You paid back Chilton. You didn't just let them throw you money to solve the termite problem of our house. But not me. I'm just okay with people handing me everything. Ugh!"

"Honey, you have to calm down. This is not good for the baby. And I don't want Bennie to look like Benjamin Button or that hideous kid from the Twilight saga because of your distress. So, please, take a breath. I will make you some hot cocoa and we will sit and talk."

"You are watching Twilight now? And I thought the crime shows were bad."

"Seriously? After all the drama that is what you are focusing on?" Lorelai pursed her lips and furrowed her brows. " I'm glad we walked back home and I had a chance to sober up. But there's still some booze in my system. I will need coffee for this. To stay sharp."

Lorelai left the room and started to prepare the beverages. Rory followed her in silence, taking a break to gather herself together. After a few minutes, mother and daughter were seated in the kitchen with cups in their hands. A very familiar scene for them, as the kitchen table has always been a sanctuary where the Gilmore's talk out their issues.

"So, we are in a no judgment zone. You can get everything out of your chest. But slowly. Remember to inhale and exhale," Lorelai mimicked a yoga breathing technique. "I can light candles and play some Enya to help you relax."

"No need," Rory didn't know from where to start. There was too much on her mind. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, before finally bursting the next words. "I've been thinking a lot about that girl who started Chilton with the wrong foot but worked hard and became Valedictorian. I don't know what happened to her. I don't even recognize myself. I went to visit dad before your wedding and I said journalism didn't pan out the way I expected, but being honest, I don't know if I can say that I failed. I feel like I didn't really try. You remember how I behave in the interview with Sandee Says and how I was blabbing the article about lines for GQ was stupid... The thing is I spent the last years looking down at jobs like they were beneath me. Because I'm a Gilmore, so special, and I deserve the world to roll out a red carpet for me, right? And there I was living the dream in New York relaying on my trust fund."

"This is why you were so touchy in the car the other day?"

"Yep. I felt like all your criticism was direct to me. It was exactly what I've been doing: I chose the easy way. And it gets worse I asked Mitchum Huntzberger to put a word for me with Conde Nasté. The moment I asked it I felt like I'd confirmed what he said about me. It was rock bottom. Especially because I didn't write the damn article." She raised her hands and threw her head back in exasperation. "Guess what? It was stupid for the great Rory Gilmore, but the Washington Post published recently a story about it. They even discovered a MIT guy who is a specialist in the theory of the queues and attends by the nickname 'Dr. Queue'. If I wasn't such a snob, I wouldn't waste opportunities."