The Original Pogue- JJ Maybank

Chapter 20

"My dad seems to like her" John B says, "he told me that if I hang out with her, he'll cut the amount of chores I do. But at this point I'd take the chores over spending every day with her" 

Pope is looking at his feet, but when JJ elbows him and gives him a pointed look he speaks up, "it's just that she's already fragile. I mean we're afraid to do anything with her because we're scared she'll break. She doesn't fit in" 

"See, it's not a me thing!" JJ exclaim, shuffling closer to the girl, throwing an arm around her shoulder, "we keep her around because she has her uses. I mean someone has to pay for the shit we do. But in reality, she's just as unwanted here as she is at the Kook academy." 

John B and Pope share a look of confusion at the boy's behaviour, but they make no move to stop his ramblings. 

"And don't you worry sun... sweetheart" he winks, "I'm as free as a bird. No one weighing me down" he pauses before chuckling, "no pun intended" 

He puts his hands up for a fist bump and both boys oblige. 

That's when the camera flips round to show Rafe, Topper and Kelce making stupid faces at the camera, sticking up their middle fingers. 

"I hate to say I told you so" Rafe whispers, "but I told you so Sumo"

He smiles one more time before the screen goes black. 

I look up to gauge their reactions, tears in my own eyes, reliving that pain again. Pope continues to stare at the phone in disbelief, regret and sadness show all over his face. John B has his hands in his hair, leaning back in his chair his eyes closed, but the way they're scrunched together, I know he's upset. 

I turn my gaze to Kie, surprised to see her glaring at each of the boys in disbelief. I can tell she wants to say something, yell at them. But I also know that she respectful of me and knows that if I wanted them to feel my anger, they would. And for that reason, she stays silent. 

I take a deep breath before switching my gaze to JJ. He's leaning forward, elbows on his knees, hands holding his head. His entire body is tense and shaking slightly. I can't gauge what he's feeling because I can't see his eyes. JJ's eyes show all his feelings. He can school his face into any emotion he wants, but I can always see his true feelings through his eyes. 

Suddenly, he jumps up, scraping the chair against the floor harshly and rushing out the door, slamming it behind him. 

I can't say I'm surprised at his reaction. I actually expected it. 

I keep my gaze fixed on the door, not entirely sure what to do next. The only thing I know for certain is that I need to give JJ some time before I go to him. 

"Jules" John B croaks, bringing my attention back to him. His eyes are slightly red and the his eyes are flooded with guilt and regret. Pope is in a similar state. 

"I'm so sorr-" he tries, but his voice breaks, "-I'm so fucking sorry."

Not knowing how to answer, I play with my fingers, keeping my head down. 

"We're such idiots." Pope mumbled, "such fucking idiots. We lied for no good reason." 

"Jules, please look at me" John B coaxes. I fix my eyes to his. 

"I can't tell you how fucking sorry I am. There are literally not enough words in the English language to explain how sorry I am. I'm sorry I said what I said, I'm sorry I didn't stop what JJ said. I'm sorry for fucking lying" he explains, "But listen to me now, because now I'm telling the truth. You are one of the best things that has ever happened to me Jules. You filled a gap in my life I didn't even know I had. You're like the little sister I always wanted. You're brave, strong, beautiful and so many other things. I'll never be able to make up for what I did, but I'm going to do everything I can to try" he finishes, not once did his eyes leave mine.