What's In A Name

The day has finally come. It's the day my family has waited excitedly and the day I had worked towards for four long years. Commencement day.

My friends and I all stand in a line inside the dining hall, each of us holding our name cards. We are a sea of black robes and decorated caps. Many of us are nervous, most of us are ecstatic to finally be walking across the stage.

My first official college friend jokes with me about how we know they might say my name wrong despite having the phonetic pronunciation. I had hope though. If the announcer got my first name we would be fine. I'd be mortified if he didn't.

We all hear the music for the processional and know our time is coming. We walk down the stairs of our hilly campus with programs and ponchos to shield of from the coming rain. It's a pretty chilly out for it to be mid-may.

We wait as the President gives the welcoming speech, award are given, and stories are told to the class of 2021. The rain is a steady drizzle, but no one is worried. Our class had maybe 150 people in attendance. If nothing else, the ceremony will be brief once names are announced.

I sit patiently as I wait with the people who have the last name beginning with T. Taylor... Thomas... Tiegen... my anxiety builds. My middle and last name are easy. He can't get them wrong.

My first name however... that one always stumped people. I had gone 2 years of one my friends saying my name wrong. She was more upset when she find than I had been being called the wrong name. Even then, I had gone by a nickname because I hated hearing my name mispronounced.

That day she made me promise I would correct anyone who said my name wrong. A few months later I started going by my actual name anyhow. So, I obviously had kept my promise.

I hold on the the rolling as I step onto the stage to hand the announcer my name card. I wait a moment.

He says my first name right. There is hope.

Of course it's crumbled when he says my middle name as Maria instead of Mariah. And my last name morphs into what sounds like Teeler, nothing close to Tyler.

My heart hammers in my chest at the embarrassment. I lean over to correct him. Politely telling him my name was wrong. He looks embarrassed and I feel tears prick in my eyes. I make my way across stage and sadly walk off the stage as I go to my seat to cry silently.

In the moment I only felt shame and panic. But the days following, I was met with much love and support. Your name matters. What's in a name is who you are and who you choose to be.