𝔩𝔲𝔰𝔱 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔩𝔦𝔣𝔢 | hp imagines

𝙝𝙚𝙧 - 𝙁.𝙒

— inspired by the song "Washing Machine Heart" by mitski.. also HEAVILY inspired by a blurb i found on tumblr

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y/n's pov

i'll admit, i'm not dumb. i think i excell in school, i'm not an easily manipulated person, if i notice something wrong or different i'll usually act on it.. except for this. i saw the way he looked at her, the way he once looked at me. eyes filled with hope and admirance. can you blame him though? she was everything i could never be. angelina johnson was perfect.

i dressed myself up tonight for the party in the common room, gryffindor had won yet another quidditch match. i wore a beautiful silk dress and did my makeup to accentuate my best features, i thought maybe this way i could win his love back. how silly was i..

as i entered the common room i immediately tried to scout out fred, my hopes to impress him soon fading as i struggled to find him. i pushed through the crowd spotting his brother, george on the couch. i grabbed a drink and took a seat beside him "george, congrats on the win!" i said with a smile "you played amazing out there" a red hue glowing on his skin as i complimented him "why thank you y/n, find fred yet? you look absolutely ravishing love" he complimented back, i shook my head in disappointment "no.. i've barley seen him all day" he sighed, a saddened look crossing his face "your best bet is he's with angelina.." i nodded and whispered a small thank you as i went back to scouting out fred.

re-filling my drink i thought how silly i probably looked, i had dolled myself up in hopes of fred paying attention to me.. it truly had been a while. now angelina took up all his time, helping eachother with assignments, quidditch skills and everything else imaginable.  wherever she was, he was right by her side.

i didn't even notice in my thoughts that i had downed my drink.. a small buzz overcoming me yet i decided to pour myself a third cup. that's when i laid eyes on him, in the corner with angelina, obvious flirty body language they were practically on top of eachother, sharing smiles and laughs, his eyes practically heart shaped. why not me?

tears started to well up in my eyes, i couldn't do this anymore..

third person pov

y/n had finally found the courage to walk herself up to him, angelina laying eyes on y/n first, her eyes lit up and she smiled angelically giving the girl a small wave which y/n meekly returned before tugging at the sleeve of fred's shirt "oh y/n" he spoke "what's up?" he looked bored if her already "i need to talk to you.. in private" he nodded and said his goodbye to angelina, bringing her into a warm hug which made y/n shiver with envy.

the two entered fred's dorm room, it was dim and cold. fred took a seat on his bed, y/n standing in front of him not knowing where to start "honestly y/n if you're not going to speak i don't want to miss out on the party" fred said impaitently

with a sign, tears started welling up in her eyes again "i know who you pretend i am.." she had slurred, the alcohol taking affect at the worst possible time "y/n what do you mean?" fred asked, his face growing hot "why not me.. why not me..?" she questioned again, to fred she wasn't making any sense, "angelina" she whimpered, tears spilling from her eyes now "you love her, you never loved me freddie. i see the way you look at her, you don't want me anymore" y/n felt like she was going to hurl, she anxiously tried picking at her nails to avoid contact.

fred tried reaching out to grab her hands but she flinched away "don't." she sobbed "don't even try freddie" her face hot and messy, makeup running down her cheek as she sniffled and wiped away tears. "this whole time you wanted her, pretending and wishing she was i. she's perfect freddie, you never looked that happy with me."  "y/n... that's not true" he sighed "but it is fred, why didn't you just end things with me before falling for her? spare me some hurt.." she struggled "i'll always love you but you'll never love me the way you love her" the tears never seeming to stop.

fred was lost, so taken aback, trying to find the right thing to say in this situation was difficult..
"i'm sorry love.." was all he could mutter out before y/n was out his door on her way back to her own room.

why not me...