I Love You, I'm Sorry

Questions

Hermione and the Potters has been my support system after what happened with Socrpious, they sometimes tried to cheer me up because i couldn't focus on doing anything. Well who can? I've been blackmailed to kill the girl that i wish to spend my lifetime with in a few days. She will never forgive me. Not just that, Rodolphus wasn't playing, he really was behind my son's accident, and the fact that he kidnapped the real healers and made the death eaters disguise as my son's healers shatters me. 

One night, Hermione and i are in the living room, but none of us said a word, she knew i became quieter ever since i found out about the accident plus the dark truth that nobody knows about Socrpious. I can only approach her and ask for a hug, she hugged me back, it was long but comforting. At one time i felt guilty because i'm hugging a girl that i'm about to hurt in a few moments, but i just can't, but at one time i feel like i needed a place to rest and to comfort me because i was so drained, and i need someone who can make my problems disappear even just for a few minutes, and Hermione is the perfect person for that. I tried to hold my tears even  though i'm dying every seconds of it, i'm screaming in pain as if i'm lost in some place and didn't know how to get out and escape.

"Draco"

"Hm?"

"I just want to let you know that we're here for you, you know about-"

"I appreciate it" I nod and smiled, "Thankyou Hermione"

I didn't know how to react, i was so lost and vulnerable.

"Draco"

"Hm?" I asked

"I know this isn't the right time but, i've been thonking for a few days about this and it keeps haunting me, i could've just wait b-"

"What do you wanna ask?" I said.

"What are we?"

I stayed silent, for a moment she was right and has the right to ask, what are we really? We're more than friends, less then lovers. Our eyes dont meet in ways just friends do.

"I mean, you kissed me, we hugged, we spend a lot of time together, i really couldn't say we're just friends, but i really couldn't say that we're a couple too, so what are we?"

I'm still silent, trying to figure out what to say, i hope that i didn't hurt her feelings. I honestly dont know, but one thing i know for sure that she's my home.

"i- i honestly don't know" I answered but i can't look at her in the eye. I always love her.

"But, i think it's better if we just stay friends" It hurts so much when i said that, and i can tell that it hurts her feelings too.

"Then why did you kiss me Draco?" That question hit me,

"I was just, caught up in the moment and it felt right"

"It was never right if i'm just a friend Draco"

"We're something bigger than that. We're-"

"What?" She asked?

I tried to lean myself to her, but then,

"You can't do this to your friend Draco" And then she stormed out of the chair and apparated. I was just left silent. We were never friends, we're just too fearful people who's too afraid of loving each other. if only she knew that i really love her, that i really want to marry her, that it has been her, i loved Astoria but Hermione has always been the love of my life, she was my first love, and first love are the ones who you'll never forget. I can't be in a relationship with someone if i ruin her life. I'm so sorry Hermione.

If only you knew.