DNF; Loving my best friend and his brother

Chapter 2

How do I tell my boyfriend I might be in love with his brother? That's the only thing going through my mind as I sit in my lectures, each and everyone one of these classes important but I can't focus. Why did my stupid brain have to start acknowledging this stuff now? I could have ignored it like I've been doing for 4 years, but no. I have a boyfriend now and Rin does too and all I can think of is that I wanna fall asleep in his arms and feel Torry's behind me as well. That I want to kiss my best friend and turn around and kiss my boyfriend too... Why did I have to be born this way? I'm basically a cheater trying to make up for it by calling it polyamory...

My classes end way too soon and when I see the happy frame of my boyfriend come into view just around the corner guilt trickles into my stomach. I smile however, I always smile when I see him. I can't help it either, no matter how sad I am. The way his blue hair flops around when he waves at me, and that little waddled run in those beautiful skirts as he runs for me and I drop everything to catch him. Just has me laughing and smiling each time... And he runs to me again, I drop my backpack and hold my arms open for him. He jumps up and I catch him as he wraps his legs around my waist. Oh gods he smells amazing and that giggle I hear him make close by my ear as I settle him on my hip and nuzzle my face into his shoulder "good to see you too my baby boy~" The way I feel the little goosebumps come over his skin always thrills me, I know it excites him when I call him my baby boy. "Hi daddy~" he teased back and the laugh that leaves my tense body feels like a relief like I can think of something else for a little while.

He jumps down from me again and I tug him close against me by his hips. I always want him close, that smile is contagious and if it wasn't for him I'd have been dead by now, him and Rin... And that's what confuses me too, who saved me? Did Rin save me... is he the most important person or is that Torry? Who came in late but swept my heart back into a place of hope. "Your so naughty this early on the day" My hand moves almost on its own as I push some hair behind his ear and his little paws travel to my back. Holding the edge of my shirt like an adorable cheeky prince. "Well maybe I wanted to be naughty for you mmm~ Besides, I like it when these bitches see just who got the grand price~" I roll my eyes and shake my head, gods he was something else. "You'll never learn will you" his laugh makes something inside my chest unwind again. "Nope!"

Lunch was so much better when Torry was there, gods I loved it when he played around with his food like a kid and told me entire stories about princes and kingdoms living on his plate. I should find it childish, but over time I learned that Torry never wanted to lose that spark inside that let him imagine worlds. Bea had that too I realized... maybe too late, I never got to make friends with him. I don't believe he likes me anyway. But Bae was off somewhere to lunch with Rin, see Bae has some trouble with food and his oh so darling boyfriend helps him with it. And I shouldn't mind it, Rin helps me all the time... but I'm still jealous that Bae gets to spend all that time alone with Rin while it used to be just the two of us... Gods I'm such an idiot. "Hey what are you thinking about?" Torry's voice must have pulled me away from the deep far-away thoughts cause I'm startled and focus on him again when he gets that little worried frown on his face "N-nothing. Just daydreaming" I lied, but I swear I'm gonna end up married to a lie detector cause that's just who Torry is while I'm supposed to be the mind reader. He floats over a bottle from his bag and eyes me like he sees right through me, even the colors around him shift to the purple-blue that tells me he's suspicious or worried. "Out with it" his voice is stern, a voice he knows I relent to quiet easily. So I turn my eyes back to my plate and push around some of the meat and peas I had collected. "Just thinking about some things... don't worry about it" and as the words left I knew I shouldn't have said them. The colors at the edge of my vision shift to a darker purple, great he's mad now too. "Mirtyunjai" Fuck- I hate it when he uses my full name, I glance up and his yellow eyes glow while he holds his fork down on the table as if he's ready to stab me with them soon. He's been my boyfriend for about a year now, he knows me and I know him. But I still haven't been able to figure out if he... if he'll hate me for loving someone else. "No need to get angry, I just have something on my mind I don't feel like talking about," I say and I feel like I snapped cause his aura goes to a navy blue and gets hints of light blue in it like teardrops. He hates being yelled at and now I feel like shit. But I still can't solve it when I do this, I'm still just a kid. I'm still... the same depressed kid he fell in love with and I retreat when I can't deal. So I stand up and he gets ready to say something but I'm faster "Don't bother, I'm sorry okay. I'm not hungry anymore and class starts in a few. I'll just see you tonight" Date night, it was date night and I'd snapped at him and currently running away. I wish I could smoke by myself, drink myself into a coma without hurting him or Rin or Topaz or Ari... The only 4 people who still give a damn about me even if they're better of without me.

I find myself sitting on the same rock I always go to when I'm upset, it's my spot. I have a view of the ocean and the school is still at my back like a looming guardian. My feet are hanging over the edge as I keep the cigarette unlit between my lips. I need my pyromancer friend to light it, never bothered to buy myself a lighter. Maybe because I knew that when I need a smoke I mostly just really need my Rin... who isn't even mine.

But then a hand clasps around my shoulder, and I look up to find his face. Cause it's always him... Rin, my not so mine Rin...