21 Days ➸ l.h

one.

luke,
the days get easier the less I talk, less I think, less I breathe you. it's like you were the poison and I drank you, I consumed all that you were and all that I thought you were going to be. at first I loved being unhealthy, loved gulping you down like the beers we drank together causing us to get so wasted we would wake up the next morning with no recollection of what happened the night before. my love for you grew drop by drop; sloshing you around in my punctured heart. as time went on, your acidicness eroded the holes I had repaired and one by one, everything began to shut down. I felt I had nothing else and I thought you became my cure. little did I know, I would just keep killing myself day by day. being with you was like taking the first hit; you fester in my lungs, grip and claw at the walls that took me so long to build up. you begged to escape my lips but instead you spilled forth like vomit and dissolved my thoughts. your words sounded so sweet but you are just so toxic. I have to cough when I'm around your fumes; and the more I was around you, breathed you, inhaled you, the more I lost myself and that was such a scary thought. you enveloped so much around me. I became a part of you, I lost all that I was. I became a whole new person, completely different than I was before and I don't know how much I like it. but I will keep picking up the lost pieces of myself that I have dropped along the way. I know I can't be who I once was because you destroyed me. but I will keep my head up. you have no control over me anymore.
goodbye,
allie

that was the last time i ever contacted Luke. he never tried to contact me either. but it's been nine months since i've sent that letter and i'm still in love with him.

A/N:

all lower case is intentional. hope you all like the story. please read, vote, and comment.

xoxo. m.