the silence of loving someone but never telling them.
-discontinued but last chap can be read like an ending!
( childhood friends to lovers ) |real life + social media
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Before the whole fucking pandemic happened and everything got pretty downhill, Helena can confirm that she enjoyed most of her days on set of the series the falcon and the winter soldier, playing the role of Sharon Carter, the niece of the legendary Peggy Carter, talking to her semi-crazy peers and sleeping in between takes like there was no tomorrow. She also liked to pull some weird stuff here and there -like shooting Sebastian Stan with a nerf-gun for a week and letting Anthony film it so they could use it for blackmail- because why not? He absolutely hated it, however, like the good man he was, he chosed to just ignore her as long as possible without raising causing unrest among the producers and the director.
At least, she could dooze off to the neverending lands of dramatic Greek gods and their stupid lifestyle - it was quite funny but depressing, too - and not needing to look out for Sebastian's cruel comeback.
Of course she tried not to hurt anyone but that wasn't guaranteed -see Helena wasn't the most careful human being and often hurt herself by pranking her co-workers who didn't know what to think of her clumsiness. Adding the fact how much she didn't hold a single piece of information about insurances wasn't helping her - a lost case, that's what she was. Maybe even a fool but Helena, Hel -call her whatever you could think about- wouldn't exactly say that out loud. Definitely not when one of her best friends were around. They would using it and hunt her down for a while -something she didn't mind not happening near future.
Her mom, Adaline, loved to call her 'my sweet fool' in French — mon adorable buffon — and she indeed hated it with her every tendons. It was an insult at the highest level because it hurtled her pride. And her Pride was everything to her. Helena's stubbornness was on the same level which was absolutely a thing that herbrother dearest Alec didn't like but at the same time it was something they shared.
By the way Sebastian looked at her in the moment she would've fled to her trailer if the director allowed her. Sadly, they were in the middle of shooting a scene and she couldn't follow her insticts - instead she stared at his blue eyes. Just stared and waited for his reaction. After a while she stuck out her tongue but the brunette man didn't break the contact —kindacreepybut okay.
Then she slowly hid herself behind another co-worker named Daniel Brühl and broke the disturbing eye to eye contact. She knew that Sebastian had a large smirk on display yet she couldn't find a single care 'cause Daniel's broad shoulders in the iconic dark purple coat caught her attention. He looked fine — more than fine.
„Why are you staring at me like that?”, Daniel asked, unsure about her next move while watching the scene unfolded before him — John Walker and his sort of friend Lemar Hoskins glaring into the unknown. Hel didn't concentrate on what was happening between the characters, she prepared herself for the perfect comment about his coat.
„You, sir, are veryattractive in this piece of clothing. Therefore I shall stare at you.”
Shaking his head, Daniel suppressed a smile: „You're impossible, you know Helena?”
„I'm glad you noticed. It's quite hard to be myself, however you surely know how good I am”, the woman said and wiggled with her eyebrows.
He furiously blushed which made her giggle out loud. Then a smirk creeped its way onto his face: „Shouldn't you flirt with your boyfriend? Freddy, wasn't it?”
Now it was her turn to blush like a madwoman.
„Freddy is my friend”, Helena emphasized friend. Clearly, she wasn't a fan of the friends to lover bullshit — yeah her Freddy was a good looking dude and he wasn't that stupid but he was strange. And they hadn't seen each other for months — neither of them kept in touch greatly as the long days passed by.
Clearing her throat, the blonde muttered: „I haven't heard anythin' from him. I guess he finally found a friend group.”
„Oh.”
Yeah oh.
„Come on we have lunch break and your girl is hungry.”
━━━━━
𝓵𝓪𝓼𝓽 𝓭𝓮𝓬𝓪𝓭𝓮
Silence clad the small shoulders of the child, who looked lost at the groups of peers. Longing blinked in her eyes, but to interpret it was to be recognized with care, because tears shimmered up and the corners of the mouth tighten to a smooth line. Then they flickered upward again easily —but only when glances met— and then fell again when the contact broke.
No one wanted to play with little Helena. She was the new girl — awkward at its finest (shewasn't a social butterfly back then) and the most of the kids were scared that she could've steal their best friend from them and broke up the remaining groups.
They were mean at the beginning of her arrival and within time they startet to ignore her as much as they could without the teachers' notice. But even if the adults saw the behavior, they didn't care about it.
Helena ate her lunch in silence and read a book named 'Pride and Prejudice' — which kinda reminded her of her late mother's gentle voice on the voice recorder.
She missed her.
While Helena was absorbed in her reading, she didn't notice that a brown-haired boy ran over to her and then looked over her shoulder at the opened page. He read through the top paragraph, amazed to find that he had not yet held the book in his hands - and he read a lot that it was almost strange for his age. On the other hand, his older sister always found it good that he picked up a book rather than a fight with other male opponents in the playground. She turned another page again, her eyes fixed on the paper I'm trance - the boy wasn't having it though.
So he coughed excessively loudly and pulled her back into reality.
Wide eyes and a pretty smile that's what she was — but later on Helena was so much more to Freddy.
