Winter Is Here // Game Of Thrones

Numb(Jaime POV)

I had to get myself under control. I was projecting my pain into anger. I had already snapped at Cercei and father but I doubted Joffrey would take it.

"Stannis, and Robb are still alive", I continue.

"I crushed Stannis on the war of the blackwater. Send him running back with a tail between his legs. Pity you weren't there to help".

"I was a little busy", I reply.

"Busy getting captured", murmured Joffrey, flipping through the book.

Cercei babied him too much. She should have disciplined him from a young age. Perhaps he would be a great King. Yet here he stood, a naive, stupid, useless brat. I felt absolutely no emotion for him. I felt absolutely no emotion for anyone.

"So this is the famous book of brothers", began Joffrey. "All the great deeds of all the great King's Guards".

"Ser Arthur Dayne. The Sword of the Morning. At the attack on the Kingswood Brotherhood, defeated the smiling knight in single combat.", read Joffrey and I nodded. "Ser Duncan the Tall. Four pages for Ser Duncan".

"He must have been quiet the man".

"So they say", I agreed stiffly. Joffrey looked up from the book with a smirk, and an amused look on his face.

"Ser Jaime Lannister", he began and I breathed in deeply. Then he stopped chuckling. "Someone forgot to write down all your great deeds".

"There is still time", I assure him.

"Is there? For a 40 year old, one handed knight. How can you protect me with that thing?", asked Joffrey and I did my best not to feel insulted.

"I use my left hand now your grace, makes it more of a contest", I reply, smiling at Ser Meryn. 

Joffrey smirked at me, walking out with his puppy dog following close behind. I relaxed visibly, letting the fake smile fall off my face. I walked over to the book, closing it.

"My lord, Lord Tyrion invites you to lunch", said a squire as I walked out of the meeting room.

"Very well", I reply coldly. I had no plans on eating. I didn't have the appetite.

I followed the squire, not remembering his name.

"Jaime!", greeted Tyrion with open hands so to say, leading me to a table. With the help of his squire, I got the bloody heavy armour off me, and finally sat down to enjoy some food. Only problem is I couldn't enjoy it.

We sat in silence as Podrick poured us both wine, and asked me multiple questions on whether I wanted pork or beef, salad or soup, apple pie or blueberry pie. I always answered with whatever, not caring. Tyrion noticed and tried to lighten the mood with conversation.

"Your new hand, it's nicer than your old one. Wouldn't you say Podrick?", asked Tyrion.

"Is it solid gold?", asked the squire.

"Gilded steel", replied for me Tyrion.

"You are not eating", remarked Tyrion. 

"Why is no one eating? My wife wastes away, my brother starves himself", continued Tyrion.

"I'm not hungry", I reply coldly. Tyrion raised his head a little, noticing my tone. I couldn't control it. 

"You lost a hand, not a stomach", argued Tyrion.

I lost much more than a hand, dear brother. Much much more.

"Try the boar, Cercei conquered enough of it since one killed Robert", offered Tyrion but I put my hand up, stopping Podrick from putting any on my empty plate.

"A toast, to the proud Lannister children. The Imp, the cripple and the mother of madness", began Tyrion raising a goblet. I sat up straighter, accidentally knocking over my own goblet full of wine.

"I'll clean it up", offered Podrick but I stopped him.

"No. Leave us", I ordered coldly, raising my voice a little. Tyrion looked surprised at my tone. He would have to get used to it.

"It's only wine", Tyrion tried to make me feel better but I looked at him, letting my guard and mask slip a little. He noticed it. He always did. 

"What's happened?", he asked concerned.

"I fell in love", I whispered, leaning back into my chair and looking outside. "With the most amazing, beautiful, smart, stubborn, fierce, strong woman to ever live".

Tyrion watched me carefully. He let me speak.

"And I let her go", I muttered.

"Well she must be something great to have you mop around like a corpse", remarked Tyrion.

"She was absolutely perfect", I whispered. "Better than perfect".

"Who? Anybody is better than Cercei, I am glad you finally moved on from her", said Tyrion, walking around the table, pouring more wine into my goblet.

"We were never meant to be.", I continued, my mask slipping. Tyrion was watching me carefully.

"A Wolf and a Lion don't mix", I utter finally and the realization hits Tyrion.

"Lady Audelia Stark", he says and I nod. "Yes, she is quite something. Most of Westeros is in love with her. Not as successfully as you though".

"And I broke her heart".

"Oh what did you do", asked Tyrion with the same look he had when I was about to tell him I stole father's 'Hand of the King' badge when we were kids.

"I let her go. I would have just dragged her down. Ruined her life even more. Probably dragged her down to an early grave. She deserves more than me. She deserves someone good, strong, young, smart, gentle, and not a cripple".

"You fit into most of those categories", argued Tyrion.

"Not all of them. She is perfect, and I am not".

"I am not one to judge your relationship, I've had my fair share of them, do not recommend it, women are demanding and sometimes upright nasty".

"Then you haven't met the right one".

"My point being, she is not perfect in everyone's eyes, but she is in yours. You are not perfect in anyone eyes, but perhaps you were in hers", said Tyrion.

"I'm not worth it", I say, my voice full of pain.

"I am afraid you do not get to decide if you are worth it or not.", he says, more forcefully.

"So what would you have me do?", I ask.

"That's up to you", he replied, sipping his wine. "A minute, a week, a month, a year. Death is certain but time is not".

"Stop speaking in riddles", I say frustrated.

"It's only a riddle if you do not know the answer", replied Tyrion smiling into his glass at my annoyed expression.

"What I'm saying is. You don't know when you are going to die. But when you do, I doubt you want to go without finishing your unfinished business", explained Tyrion.

"Oh and also, I can help you with one of your problems", he added and I raised an eyebrow.

"I have someone discreet who can help you fight. Audelia and him became friends actually, he helped her escape", continued Tyrion and that got my attention.

"A man named Bronn, yes?", I asked and Tyrion nodded.

"I believe he may be able to help you".