It Was Always You

Red Roses

We parked at the hospital and I yanked the keys out of the car. Running to the door, I noticed dad had starting running. He was yelling numbers for me to repeat and memorize before we got to mom.

"Eleven, five, two, twenty four, sixteen, twenty one, three hundred and sixty six!!!" He called to me.

I hollered the numbers over and over until I nearly lost my voice. He went to the receptionist as I ran through the hallways, dodging patients and doctors at every corner.

That's when I saw her, mom. She stood in front of a door, connected to her oxygen and morphine and whatever the blood line was for. I fell to my knees, exhausted from running and yelling. I fell to my knees, more than ecstatic to see her. Her skin had gone pale and her face had gotten so thin. Her weight looked like it had plummeted in the last ten years.

I started crying hysterically at her feet. She was my mom but I barely remembered her smile. That smile she managed to flash me even though she was covered in bruises. I was almost able to hug her, almost. Afraid to break her. But almost wasn't enough.

I tried to stand but I couldn't feel my legs. They had become crushed, crippled by my weight. I was helpless, overcome by joy and sadness, anger and exhaustion. I couldn't say anything. It seemed like my voice was petrified by all the emotions.

What seemed like forever, was only minutes until dad stopped dead in his tracks behind me. His jaw dropped with his knees. He reached his arm around my waist and picked me up, leaning all my weight on his side. I nodded towards him.

"Eleven days till the wedding, five days after valentines day, two hours till our eyes meet at dinner, twenty four hours a day, sixteen minutes till freedom, twenty one nights of hell at camp, three hundred and sixty six days every will will I love you all." Mom recited the numbers and the importance.

Those were the numbers that were for dad, that's what he wanted me to see.

"Y-You remembered.." Dad said, still in shock.

Mom nodded, "forever and always."

"Mommy.." It was all I could say, couldn't even say how much I had missed her or how much I had dreamt of seeing her again. Just mommy. A word only little kids use anymore. "M-m-mom.. It's you.. It's really you.." I whispered.

A doctor came down the hallway and saw I was struggling to stand up. He told me to stay there, like I could go shopping at the mall and be back in five seconds. He brought back a wheelchair and rolled me into mom's room. There were two beds and apparently one was available. The other patient had left earlier and I was free to use it.

Mom came in with dad; he helped her into bed and pushed my bed closer to mom's. Mom reached her hand out and held mine. The doctor came in hooking me up to IVs and whatnot, getting me admitted.

He handed me ten roses, said it was from family. I smiled at mom, knowing they were from her. A rose for every year she wasn't around.

I set them to the side and saw the room begin to spin. Dad held my hand with mom and whispered that everything would be alright. But his voice sounded far away, miles and miles away. I called out for him but everything went dark.

Had I passed out??