Sober

Chapter 34

“It’s okay, Aya,” Ian managed to answer and smile but the misery is overflowing in his eyes. He’s not okay at all. “I-I’ll eventually be okay.” stuttering, he added.

When their daughter left, Lea’s tears started falling again as she held her husband’s hand, “You heard what the doctor said... there’s a hope, Ian. We have a hope. We’ll get through this, okay?”

“W-What if it won’t work? Paano kung habambuhay na akong ganito?” he asked, looking intently and desperately at his wife’s eyes, not minding the hot liquid that just fell from his eyes. “Lea...” he cried

And she felt the familiar pain she felt when they broke up; when she lost Aya; and when she had a miscarriage. Seeing Ian in a state where she has never seen him before tore her apart as his wife. She could vividly see the torment and devastation through his catastrophically beautiful eyes.

“Then, I’ll be your feet.” she softly answered him as she kept herself from breaking down. The least thing Ian would want right now is an emotional wife. He needs her support and she herself as his support. “I will walk for you. I will run for you. I-I’ll do everything for you and with you, Ian, because that is what I promised when we got married.”

“But I-I will be a burden to you and I don’t want to be that person. I never wanted to be anyone’s burden, especially my wife’s.”

“You are not and you will never be. I am your wife and I made a promise to stay by your side through the best and worst. This is one of those worst things that had happened to us and more than any other days, now is when you need me the most. And I assure you that I am and I will be here whenever and wherever you need me.” she said and cupped his cheek. “Just tell me what you want me to be and I’ll be it. I’m your other half, right? And I’m willing to take that to the most literal sense for you.”

He squeezed her hands as he bowed his head and cried harder. Lea could just bite her lower lip to suppress her sobs from getting audible. She’s in pain with him because they both know Ian doesn’t deserve this. She feels the weakest seeing the person who has been her strength slowly getting hopeless and helpless.

His heart just felt so heavy and his mind is so messed up. He couldn’t find any silver lining nor even just a little light in his situation right now. The last time he felt this heaviness was when he and Lea lost their baby.

“P-Please don’t leave me, Lea.” he begged and looked at her again. “I... I can’t do this alone. I need you.”

“And rest assured that you will always have me.” she told him with a faint smile. “You, silly, what made you think that I would leave you?”

As much as Ian wanted to talk more, sobs of havoc were the only thing that came out of his throat. He could not imagine how he would continue to live after this. He doesn’t know how to fully function again when half of his body is literally annihilated. And he’s afraid how this might change everything.

He felt Lea’s hand in his nape, gently bringing his head to her shoulder as she hugged him. And he did— he wept harder in his wife’s shoulder, “M-Misis...” he called her with so much misery in his voice. And Lea easily recognized it because he has never heard that tone from him. He has never been this miserable.

“Y-You’ll be okay,” she whispered to him while caressing his back in hope to give him a tiny comfort. “You’ll get through this... I will help you get through this. We’ll be fine, Sir. I promise you that.”

Two weeks later

All treatments Ian needed to do at the hospital were successfully done, finally allowing him to go home. He has been living the weirdest moment of his life— him being in a  wheelchair every damn minute is something he didn’t prepare himself for. He’s still not used to it. There would be times where he would subconsciously attempt to stand up because oh, I forgot I’m paralyzed.