Galaxy of Hyperion: Mystic Heir

Chapter Forty: Speak

"He was, but that still doesn't excuse what I did against you and the rest of the Skylox Heroes," Zelda said. "I'm not going to push you for forgiveness. That's hardly something that I can ask for under these circumstances or any other. I have done awful things, and I can only hope that I will be able to repay the world in my own way. I cannot return the lives that I have taken, and I have come to terms with such a truth long ago. However, I can still try to act in a way that would satisfy those who have been harmed by my actions."

Jay hesitated before she spoke once again. "I've always had a problem with hiding my emotions, you know. I suppose that it's just because of who I am as a warrior; I felt as if it was my only option. I had to keep everything bottled inside to ensure that nobody caught onto how I was feeling deep down. I hid everything from the rest of my team because I was so terrified of revealing who I truly was beneath the mask," she confessed. 

"In that respect, we are the same... Though you took up such a state by choice. That was how you became naturally, but I was forced into it," Zelda told her. She shook her head and let out an empty scoff of a laugh. "It's almost ironic, is it not? You're a disciple of Lyloc, and I was trained by one of the Lakinya. Against all odds, we were able to find one another, and we're here now fighting alongside one another."

"Yeah... I know that I never would have seen something like this coming," Jay muttered. "And... I still don't know if I'm ever going to be able to truly move past what has happened. You can call me emotionally stunted all that you want, and if I'm being honest... You're probably right. I've always had problems with being wrapped up in the past and what could have been. The fall of the Skylox Heroes has only made the issue worse, and it will take me a long time, if I can do it at all, to move past what you did to cause their deaths."

Zelda watched her evenly, seemingly understanding that Jay still had more to say. "But sometimes... You can move on without forgiving somebody. You're right in saying that you've done many things to harm others, and I'm just one of many who have been hurt in such a way. You must be aware of such a fact, so I won't push it beyond that, but... I don't think that living in the past and dreaming of what could have been constantly is healthy. I need to find a way to move forward regardless of my past emotions."

"I'm hardly in a place to ask anything of you," Zelda said next. "I don't think that I ever will be, but... I would love to be able to get to know you better one day. I'm not the person that anyone would have wanted me to be. The truth of the matter is that I have been disgusting for many years. Mersall trained me for many years to become a soldier, a perfect sword for his war, but that excuse cannot extend endlessly. I know that I have to understand who I am and what I have done without using him as a barrier."

"You haven't used him as a shield at all though," Jay pointed out. "Throughout all of this, you've been trying so hard to move on and establish that you're doing this because you are your own person. I apologize if I'm overstepping here, but if anything, you aren't giving him enough credit for what he did. You were vulnerable, and while there certainly is a line between what happened on both siders, he was the one who pushed you to become this way."

"Perhaps," Zelda shrugged. "But it's hardly my place to decide where the lines of morality lie. It's never been my decision, and it never will be. You are in a much better position to discuss such a matter as a whole... That's one reason that I've always wanted to emphasize that this is not something I'm trying to push you into. I don't want to pressure you into forgiving me or trying to move past my past sins. I want you to reach the conclusion as to if I am worthy on your own terms. That is the only way I will be satisfied."

"And... If I don't agree to forgive you?" Jay asked, her voice uncertain. She allowed the silence to hang in the air after the fact, almost as if she was afraid of the response that she was going to receive.