Questions...

Who Am I?

Who am I?

I ask myself this constantly. I don't know what it is. I can't seem to figure it out.

Who am I?

I've always heard people say they are only themselves when they're truly alone, and yet I can't relate.

Who am I?

I feel like a puppet on strings, or an actor, because the person I play everyday...I'm not sure they are me. They just don't...feel right?

Who am I?

I wouldn't call it dissociation. I just don't know who I am. Maybe my consciousness escaped and took itself to another universe to roam around and be happy, who knows?

Who am I?

I feel numb. At night when I'm on my own, completely isolated from everyone and everything, I still second guess everything I do.

Who am I?

It's not caring about the opinions of society. I just can't grasp onto who I am. Maybe I'm a lost soul? Maybe I made it out from a horrific past life and so the world decided to gift me with the life I have now.

Who am I?

Or maybe it's a punishment.

Who am I?

The life I have now...It's simple. Everyday I wake up, get dressed go to college and come home. Then I'll talk to my Mum and Dad for a bit and then I'll walk over to my pets, stroking their fur before making my way up the stairs, going to the bathroom before sitting in my room and doing homework, talking to my friends occasionally before finally laying down in bed.

Who am I?

I sit and stare at my bedroom ceiling. I see it everyday that it's no longer foreign to me. But I see my reflection every day too and yet who I truly am seems to be a complete mystery. Looking in the mirror...I know it's me, but at the same time it isn't . I can't seem to put it into words, I don't know. It's hard.

Who am I?

I lay there in the dark wondering what my purpose is? What the point of society's norms are when in the end, there isn't an escape. We all die. So why have I been born without purpose.

Who am I?

I don't feel alive. I don't think I am sometimes. I'm not dead, I'm not alive...I'm just here. Standing as the world spins on it's axis, the days, seasons and time passing by, my body experiencing the effects of time and yet my soul still lost.

Who am I?

Sometimes when I'm with friends it's nice. I feel included but there's a part of me that knows I do not belong here. So I leave. I go home and isolate myself. When it's just me by myself it's different. It feels as though nothing else exists. That it's just me and yet...I don't even feel I'm truly there. I don't feel like I am living.

Who am I?

I don't know who I am. I don't know what my purpose is. I don't understand. I feel like no one else thinks or feels the way I do, even if they might.

Who am I?

I lose sleep over questioning it. But it doesn't matter. YOU understand right? You know what it's like to feel so numb that even your head is empty. You're completely void of anything and somehow, that emptiness stops you from functioning.

Who am I?

It renders you from sleep. I'm so empty I can't sleep, no matter how exhausted I feel. So instead I stare at my ceiling and wonder once more.

Who. Am. I. ?

And yet I still cannot come up with an answer. So I compromise instead.

Who am I?

WHO:

A lost soul. Isolating themselves until they find the answer. Until they find out who they are.

AM:

Stuck. No ambitions or goals for their future other than figuring themselves out.

I?

So now I wonder once again...will I ever understand?

Who I am?